Author: kimhaynesjohnson

 

 

 

Today’s writing prompt from my writing group sparked connections between the book that I am currently reading and a choral response, so I am taking that form today and using letters exchanged between Barbara Webster and Gladys Taber in 1953 from their farms as I converse with these late authors. Secret Confession: I think I have a writer’s crush on Gladys Taber.

Gladys, from Stillmeadow (Connecticut, 1953): “Do you ever have a moment that is absolutely exquisite? Such moments are rare. They are like holding a pink pearl in your palm. Happiness, I think, is being able to live these moments when they come.”

Kim, from the Funny Farm (Georgia, 2020): A pink pearl, for me, is a cold winter’s morning: a toasty fire, a cozy blanket, a charming book, and my two rescues dozing in my lap.

Barbara, from Sugar Bridge (Pennsylvania, 1953): “Sometimes I think that if I had a whole new life to lead, I’d like nothing so much as to be a really good gardener.”

Kim, from the Funny Farm (Georgia, 2020): I’d be the female Henry David Thoreau, carving out three years to live in a cabin by the lake in a sparsely-furnished space with a rich supply of paper and ink.

Gladys, from Stillmeadow (Connecticut, 1953): “Yes, it takes living to find out what values life has. Most of us, as we grow older, gentle the wild ponies of our heart. Then you find, on the lower pastures, the small flowers that are there and you know the richness of small busy tasks of ordinary living.”

Kim, from the Funny Farm (Georgia, 2020): I’m looking forward to Friday, when I will help lead a group of sixth graders to write letters to nursing home residents in Warm Springs, Georgia who can’t have visitors during this pandemic – young, wild ponies bringing forgotten and unexpected surprises of handwritten letters to the mailboxes of much older horses – flowers in the lower pasture.

 

 

Coding 101: Secretly Forecasting Atmospheric Conditions

invisible
compass rose
superimposed
on our faces
reversed to self,
mirror-style

“weather check?”
I remind us
before venturing along

I turn toward him
gaze to the heavens
a windsock lifting
changing angles
awaiting the forecast

“cloudy in the western hemisphere,
with a strong chance of sunshine
and a slight chance of storms,”
my own private meteorologist
prognosticates
in his whispered broadcast
 

in every forecast he makes there is
a strong chance of sunshine
and a slight chance of storms

he tilts his head
checks the sky
sneezes

no scripted teleprompting needed here

“sustained winds
according to the
barometric pressure
but otherwise
clear and balmy
stay tuned”
I whisper back
grinning a secret smile
signing off the air

I hand him a Kleenex and
duck into the ladies’ room
cocooning my own tissue
in my right hand
in search of a mirror
to release a small cloud from
my western hemisphere

Challenge from

Emily Yamasaki – write a worry box Pantoum.

Enneagram Pantoum

Enneagram Type One? Hmmm….. maybe.

I took the free test. 

A rule follower who wants things done correctly? Me? 

A 98% Perfectionist pie slice?

I took the free truity.com personality test. 

I’m 97% Type 5, Investigator? 

When have you ever known a preacher’s kid who “follows rules”??

I “seek knowledge” and am “more comfortable with #DATA than people?” 

97% that AND 94% The Achiever? 

98%, 97%, 94%?  This pie seems skewed. 

I want “to be successful, admired,” and I’m       

        “conscious of my public image?” 

Is it sinful if I’m more comfortable with data than

        with people?  

The glass pastorium has me nauseated

        with the public image thing, plus Pantoums 

        prove I’m no Perfectionist. 

I’m a tormented breed of a 1, 5, 3.

What am I least of? 47% Type 2, The Giver? 

No, no, no. I tithe. I just give in Godlier ways.

I’m a tormented breed and I’m selfish? 

Exactly how is a rule follower who wants to do things correctly selfish? 

No, no, no. They have me all wrong.

Hmmm…maybe?

Challenge from Emily – write about an indelible moment 

So I share a recent indelible moment – about 3 hours recent – and it’s horrifying. Readers beware. Strange what pills will do to “keep us well.”  Backstory: negative COVID test – but take this COVID Cocktail to prevent it……

Apologies for the length…..

Melatonin Dreams of the COVID cocktail

an assortment of vitamins and

melatonin- 

1 to 3 milligrams a half hour before bed 

as tolerated 

what does that even mean? 

as tolerated

I’d heard sleepless friends say melatonin causes nightmares 

(in my dream 

I was supposed to be at a horse rodeo 

but never saw 

the first horse 

I was in a big eatery

first at a table with people I didn’t know 

two little Italian boys 

twins, maybe 5 

talking about desserteria 

and then selling $1.75 trinket rings 

as a fundraiser 

my own dad suddenly appeared because my mom wanted one)

 

Mom 

in heaven in real life now-

and Dad here- 

(offered to pay for my ring but I scrounged up my own quarters) 

quarters from the same Ziploc sandwich bag 

I keep in my Caribbean Blue Rav 4 console 

that I actually 

-not in a dream –

had used to make the change part of my grilled chicken lunch 

from Big Chic yesterday 

in the drive thru in the sudden deluge 

for $7.06

-a twenty from

my purse, a nickel and penny from the bag, 

two fives and three ones back-

(so I asked the little boys if they’d been to Italy and one said 

yes, he’d gotten an Italian haircut there 

– and kept eating his desserteria

what is an Italian haircut? 

is desserteria even a thing? 

his huge group of older relatives 

strangers I’d never met started getting up from

the next table and had all the Italian features of olive toned skin and 

Ray Romano noses 

and glared at me like I had crossed lines with their boys

I stared back with viral oomph 

squinted my eyes at them 

meeting their challenge

asking with my expression:

how dare they?!? 

I’m not the one who let them sit at a table with total strangers 

eating desserteria 

spend some time with your kids, my eyes accused 

it suddenly seemed like we changed from a restaurant to a train car 

further down the mallish corridor I saw 

a work

colleague) 

-from real life 

– her family I’d heard all had COVID in real life

(and then Joanie and her husband)

I actually saw in real life 

– not just in this crazy dream- 

eating barbecue at the Oink Joint in Zebulon this week

(on the walk I saw 

my friend Peg  

praising the pho

so the Asian girl behind the counter asked me 

what I wanted and I ordered 

“what they were having”

since I don’t know enough about pho to know,

pointing at Peg and Mary)

competitive-water-ballet-fisherwomen

married friends of mine who’d left their husbands for each other 

back around 2002

(but I left the line for a minute 

– I do not know why –

came back, got in line to pay for the pho 

and realized – no money! 

reached in the pocket of my sweater 

wait, no,

-this was Mom’s Korean sweater) 

-because in real life this week Dad had mailed me a box with her Korean jacket and two Gladys Taber books- 

Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge 

and 

My Own Cookbook

(and I pulled out-

what is this? 

foreign currency? 

paper bills with unknown faces on them 

a five and a one

not knowing whether it was stronger than the dollar or weaker 

a young black girl 

about seven years old

pulled out her own foreign currency to pay for hers

glanced at me and said something

about the food?

in some language I did not understand

I hoped the foreign money might work

– hers did

where was I in this international rodeo? 

in the eating area 

a lady named MooreAnn was there with her husband 

they were showing how they’d made all these jigsaw puzzles

but neither was clothed and they were hairless and plopped against a wall covering themselves with their arms except for one exposed flat and droopy breast 

expressionless lumps

not saying a word while someone else talked for them 

a girl ran out from behind a counter to get a cigarette and a light from someone standing by the wall who seemed to know what she wanted without words 

then she ran back to work behind the counter

someone said it was MooreAnn’s daughter and I said she looks like them

only with clothes

she was wearing running shorts and a T-shirt

running with a lit smoke and a smile

next there was a labor room where 

newborn naked babies were on display 

lying on twin beds with their dads while the moms were off somewhere else 

-God only knows where-

one baby was cute but way bigger than all the rest and had a disproportionately huge head

his bottom was way too plump in a babyish sense and when he lifted his head to grin 

I saw two buck teeth 

up top and little teeth on the bottom

and asked how he’d been born with all those teeth already in and how was he already that big? 

he had to have hurt

a random

lady there to see the babies told me he’d surely have a brain tumor later 

I quipped back it was sad how we don’t know all the answers and why does God let us go through things like this? 

those poor parents 

facing a baby with cancer

and then I went back to a room 

– like a hotel room but not – 

to get things to go home 

-wherever home was

I was making a right hand turn 

in the far left turn lane and maintained my lane 

but a car next to me 

had me wondering if he would do the same- 

I was hyper-aware  

but the car stayed in its own lane

I asked whoever was in the car with me

-I knew them but had no idea who it was – 

how to get back  

– I didn’t know where back was –

but no answer from

the back seat passenger

the roads were dark and desolate and I didn’t know where to go

I guessed at it and saw a child 

a girl of about ten 

wearing magenta shorts and a shirt walking on the edge of the road

-finally, someone who was dressed-

I went around her 

-but a child? 

-on a dark highway? 

-is this not strange? 

And this was when things got worse

I saw the boy

a clothesless boy

about 8 years old

had been hit by a car

and was lying in the road screaming for help

should I stop? 

– of course I should

       stop 

I missed hitting him and pulled to the side to try to help 

but the Rav was going too fast to stop 

up next in this Melatonin nightmare – another body this one already dead and bloody 

and I could not tell anything at all about the victim that 

like some roadkill 

had been hit several times

and then I saw nothing but blood spots on the road the further I went 

and I convinced myself I should turn around 

because we may be next if we kept going down this road 

I spun the Rav around to take a different way 

– to go back and turn onto the road 

I had passed 

and saw that the car that had been behind me had spun around too

I wondered what

that driver 

thought

in this dream of terror 

or 

-wait! 

we’re they in on the killings!?)

4:21 a.m. in real life-

-thank God I’m back- 

jolted awake by the horror

bolt upright! 

No more Melatonin for me! 

Enough.

No. More. COVID. Cocktail. 

I’ll take my chances.

I choose real life! 

wide awake

I get up from bed in this log cabin in FDR State Park 

stumble to the toilet

hear a sound 

I’m thinking hubby is behind me in line to pee next

the same way our two dogs line up

for the same spot 

I hear popping sounds on the wooden floor

creaks the whole time I pee

“Hey, baby?”

no response 

I go back to the room

– there he is in bed 

        fast asleep 

as he was when I left

in this haunted cabin #7 

by Lake Delanor 

In FDR State Park

On Saturday,

August 15,

2020

 

 

 

Choose shoes 

 

forget hats

they’re not-all-thats

choose shoes

to shift whos

 

#cowboy boots

#army boots

 

#espadrilles

#hard-to-fills

 

#wellingtons

#moccasins

 

#wingtips

#flop-flips

 

#sneakers

#waders

 

#trail hikers

#heel spikers

 

#steel toes

#stilettos

 

#swim fins

#doc martens

 

#saddle oxfords

#red galoshes

 

#running shoes

#suede blues

 

#bunny slippers

#scuba flippers

 

#soccer slides

#lacy brides

 

#sling backs

#lumberjacks

 

#rollerblades

#figure skates

 

#chacos

#no-toe-shows

 

#mukluks

#taylor chucks

 

#golf cleats

#offbeats

 

#brown mules

#break-the-rules

 

#stride rights

#got-it- rights

 

#beach thongs

#got-it-wrongs

 

#dutch clogs

#london fogs

 

#barn muckers

#leather uppers

 

#penny loafers

#stumble-oafers

 

#sexy pumps

#full-of-frumps

 

#neutral flats

#mean old bats

 

#ballet points

#what’s the points?

 

#orthopedics

#feel terrifics

 

#maryjanes

#Greg Haynes!

 

choose shoes

whose shoes?

 

Shoes’ll take you back

shoes’ll take you back

-sparkly coral wedges-

to your son’s  wedding 

on a Tennessee mountainside 

where the hand -hewn arbor 

crafted by the bride’s dad 

framed the majestic simplicity 

of vows exchanged 

shoes’ll take you back 

-ecru platforms-

to the restaurant in Johns Creek 

where a community of Chinese descendants 

gathered to celebrate 

an American war hero 

whose missions saved their grandparents 

when his remains came home- finally 

shoes’ll take you back

-coffee slings- 

to the cobblestone streets of Savannah 

walking around the historic squares 

of the Flannery O’Connor childhood home 

on the way to Bonaventure cemetery 

shoes’ll take you back 

-black Merrells-

to the streets of Europe 

eating German licorice in Berlin 

escargot in Paris 

fish and chips in London 

pasta Arrabbiata in Florence 

pizza margherita and pistachio gelato in Rome

shoes’ll take you back 

-white baby boots-

to your child’s first steps 

the little white lace barrels screwed tight 

to prevent tripping 

in classic white Stride Rites 

festive bells sounding every success 

shoes I’ll take you back 

-gold spray painted sandals-

to your wedding day 

where God had turned your world around 

so you flipped your wedding party 

to face the guests

so they could see 

you were happier this time around 

shoes’ll take you back

-patriotic sneakers-

to the day you started kindergarten 

in Reynolds Georgia 

when all you wanted was 

a pair of 1970 red white and blue canvas Keds 

and the Whatleys  loaded you up 

in their Winnebago 

for a trip to the Macon Mall 

to find them in Belk

shoes’ll take you back 

 

 

Perambulating

 

There you were –

hiding on the clearance rack

in Marshall’s

feather-light black and white

Merrells marked down to $15

 

my mother would have snagged

you and bragged about you

for weeks on end

 

I picked you up and cradled you

twisted you

curved you

bent you  

tried you on

considered you carefully –

your ability to cooperate with

all the other players

no laces

full foot support

and – most importantly –

covered toes for crowded

places where people squeeze

breathe

pack tightly together

inhale, exhale

the shared air

of every other passenger

unknowing carriers

 

“Want to explore Europe on a dime?”

 

you jumped straight out of the box

hugged my feet

like rescued puppies

held on tightly for the ride

for the next two weeks’

whirlwind world traveling

 

I chose you – and only you

the solitary pair

for my minimalist-minded

one-carry-on journey

 

you carried me

perambulating

through airports

on night trains

on streetcars

on subways

on buses

on boats

and on foot

down city streets

you brought me face to face

with Big Ben

Westminster Abby

the Eiffel tower

the Brandenburg gate

the Colosseum

the Duomo

and the recently charred Notre Dame

that never struck us as fiery foreshadowing

 

you gripped your heels against the edge

of the Trevi Fountain as we

stood together

tossed one single coin

backwards

right hand over left shoulder

to guarantee a return visit

to these breathtaking streets

 

and never once

in all our adventures

did we stop and think,

“better savor every sight

of this window on the world

before it is forever changed” 

 

 

 

 

Prophecy

 

She’s wearing her prophetic shoes today

the ones she hasn’t  worn since her son’s wedding rehearsal

 

She’s wearing them because if in this

sci-fi  dystopian

novel of 2020 this is the rehearsal dinner

 

-the first day of school –

 

then she wants it to be as foreshadowing as his wedding

to his marriage

where life is beautiful

 

even though at the wedding she got

a little drunk

and her fingers got slammed in the honeymoon trunk

 

She wishes she could remember it

 

apparently being drunk is a good thing

when your fingers get slammed in a trunk

 

And thank God it was a Lexus LS 400

because it had the weatherstripping cushion

all around the edges

which someone surmised 

softened the blow of the pain

with the slam of the trunk

 

She’s told her reaction words were very calmly stated –

nobody panic. I’m OK. somebody get the keys before they take off.

 

and the only reason she drunk-cried

on the way back to the hotel

was because she feared not being able to write again

and she needed those fingers

 

she needed them to write the stories

 

the happy stories

the painful stories

the memorable stories

the stories of disbelief

the stories of days she’d rather forget

the stories of days she never wants to forget

the stories of not exactly being the type to get drunk

but getting drunk because she couldn’t stand the sight

of her ex-husband

who was the one paying the open bar tab

so she felt it her duty to drink

as many drinks as she could

yes, one in each hand most of the night,

thanks to her stepson who kept her locked and loaded –

and anyway she dances so much better when she’s drunk

practically professionally, she’s told

-just like Elaine on Seinfeld 

when she saw the video on Facebook – 

 

yes, she’s wearing her prophetic shoes today

they’re sparkly coral-colored wedges

with flashy Rocaille beads on the flowery toe

and do not match anything else she’s wearing

just like all the other logical fallacies of Covid-19 in 2020

 

because despite slammed trunks and

kick-dancing drunks and

ex-husbands and their new hoochie-mama wives

who wear sling-shoulder black sequined dresses to a wedding –

a wedding! – (and people try not to stare, and whisper)-

and her own memories of all that a marriage shouldn’t be –

she knows that 

some shoes walk us straight into

better days

 

WhamBam

Takes what he wants
Thinks he is the
    Greatest of All Time
Doesn’t pay kid support
Butts heads with others
Freeloader
Seeks nannies
   to take advantage of
Loves animal crackers
Tricolor Pygmy
Cuteness forgives