Tag: love

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Valentine’s Day with The One and Only Kona

Today’s guest blogger is my dad, Reverend Dr. Felix Haynes, Jr., sharing the story of his best Valentine’s Day gift – and his deep love and gratitude for his best girl!

                                                             

Dad with Kona on her first birthday in the dog park

Two key words on Valentine’s Day are BE MINE. Kona has officially been mine now for two loving years!

I celebrate her surprise appearance into my life on that Sunday afternoon of Valentine’s Day 2021 when my children conspired and collaborated on this life-changing rescue. Kim rescued an 8-month old Schnoodle from Tallahassee, Florida and drove her to Tifton, Georgia. There, she met her brother Ken, who drove the last leg of the journey to my home on St. Simon’s Island.

Ken Facetimed his sister as he disclosed the terms of the deal for me.

“Dad, Kim rescued this dog, and you have 48 hours to decide on whether you want to keep her. No pressure. We had you in mind, but Kim fell in love with this sweet puppy, and I did too.”

Within thirty minutes, I knew she was mine! Kona remains the love of my life! She is the best gift ever and the best definition of true Valentine love! I couldn’t let the day go by without celebrating my cherished girl – Kona! My Valentine!

Within a few days, she had already put me on a strict routine. She makes sure I get a walk to the pier and village area every morning at 5 a.m. She licks my face and breaks into the full body wag, her nub of a tail a language of joy all its own.

Time to Go!

I grab our gear and leash. She’s more excited than a kid on Christmas morning as we step out into the fresh morning air – – a beautiful start to every day for both of us. She eagerly greets a couple of other wee hour canines and their walkers as we make our way toward sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean.

When we return, she leads me to the kitchen to fix our breakfast, still vigorously wagging her tail. I move to the easy chair with my coffee, and she cozies up beside me, snug and warm, bringing complete peace and love into my heart and home. 

She takes me on rides in the car, mid-day walks, and quick trips to the grocery store, where she accompanies me inside on the leash and sets an example for me to behave as well as she does. Cashiers and customers alike know Kona and shower her with attention and praise as we make our way down the aisles shopping for each item on her grocery list.

She brings me home to rest in between our outings. We recharge our batteries and sit a spell as she climbs into her very own chair – – the one covered with the big beach towel. She knows when I feel tired or stressed and cuddles up to say, “It’s Ok.” 

My Valentine is the queen of the dog park family. I take her there each afternoon, and every occasion is one big family reunion. We meet people from all over the country who fall more deeply in love with St. Simons Island because of the dog park. Glynn County acknowledges that the Mallery Street Dog Park has been the number one amenity they have provided through the Recreation Department (pickleball courts are a close second, but even pickleball can’t compete with dogs).  Kona and her buddy Seamus, a pug, are two of the most present magnets of this fun loving community.

Dog Park Family

Kona knows when I dress up (by which shoes I put on) that she is not going with me on the occasion. She asks with her inquisitive eyes, “Why can’t dogs go to church?”

Her intuition is astounding. When I see Ken arriving and announce, “Kasa is coming,” Kona runs to the door to welcome her cousin canine! Any time I return home, she hears the distinctive sound of the car door and waits by the door to welcome me back.

I cannot even begin to enumerate the moments of love that Kona provides. She is simply the best Valentine’s Day gift ever. I can surely say how much I love my children( their mother raised them so well), but I love them a thousand times more for the gift of Kona.

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Let’s Get Deep

In the early fall when I was sipping my coffee and gazing out at Lake Juliette from my camper window on a Saturday morning, I got a call from my brother.

“I went on a blind date, and I like her a lot,” he told me.

I knew when he was ready to talk about her so soon after the first date that something was different – he’s never done that before. He’d sworn he was going to throw himself into his work as a real estate agent and enjoy the life of a single man, but he’s an attractive guy – as much as any brother can be – and when friends of friends start talking and matchmaking, a strange sort of magical chemistry happens. Friends see in their single friends a compatibility factor between two yet unintroduced soul mates. A seed is planted, and love blooms.

I was also surprised – though I shouldn’t have been – that he’d ordered a game as a Christmas conversation starter that has become a relationship-strengthening part of their courtship.

According to my brother, you can play the game Let’s Get Deep different ways, but they choose times to draw cards and take turns answering three levels of questions – from icebreaker, deep, and deeper categories.

“I’d recommend this game for any couple progressing to a more serious phase of a relationship. It gives you a chance to gain valuable insights into the shared values and dreams – and yes, it gets deep,” he told me. “In fact,” he offered, “I can also see how couples who have been together for a long time and seem happy should perhaps avoid this game. It has the potential to shake things up, but it also helps clarify how close or far apart you stand on issues.”

That, he explains, is why they keep holding their breath, holding hands, and taking turns drawing cards.

I’m pretty sure an ever-deepening love is in the cards for them, and on this Valentine’s Day, that’s worth celebrating! This adorable couple will make another blog appearance in March with a big announcement about their tastes. Stay tuned!

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Gratitude for Felix on his Birthday

The key to loving how you live is in knowing what it is you truly love. – Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy

Today is my dad’s birthday. He’s a classic! 

Felix

Forever a collector~
Eloquent officiant
Lover of books
Incurable love of dogs
Xenial pastor

Dad’s Valentine/Birthday dog he rescued a couple of years ago, a Schnoodle named Kona, has brought a whole new realm of friendships through the local dog park, which he visits more than once each day to let Kona play and to chat about life with other dog owners. He held a birthday party for her there last year (complete with dog treats and ice cream) and in a characteristic Dr. Dolittle move, blessed all the animals – including a parrot who showed up for the party and sat on the fence. This past week, he officiated at a dog park memorial for the unofficial mayor of the dog park and made the paper. Here he is, in true Felix fashion, officiating:

Happy Birthday, Dad!

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Pet Rock Relationships

Have patience with everything that is unsolved in your heart and try to cherish the questions themselves. – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

In 2006 when I was going through a divorce, I did a lot of self-help reading as I climbed out of the rubble to begin a new life. Somewhere in all of those books, I came across a line that still causes me to stop and reflect: Trust is more important than love.

Apparently, several different authors have used the line, because it’s attributed to a list of names on a Google search. For nearly 20 years now, I have wondered about ways that the trust vs. love question could be true.

The Aha! moment came in a conference on building community partnerships that are categorized as connecting, cooperating, and collaborative. The speaker said, “Collaboration is built at the speed of trust.”

I’d never really considered the foundational position of the trust factor. A roof is as important as a foundation of a house, but without the foundation, the roof cannot stand. The Faith, Hope, and Love Bible verse tells us the greatest of these is love. I’ve returned again and again to this thought-gnawing statement about trust and love. But being the greatest, being the most important, and being the most foundational are pivotal superlatives.

So when the speaker explained the development of community partner relationships, the importance of trust became clear all at once. Trust is foundational. It happens first. It’s the prerequisite for relationships to grow. If there is ever a chance for love to bloom, it must first be rooted in trust.

No marriage, no friendship, no partnership will ever be anything more than a pet rock relationship without trust.

Finally. Finally, I have chewed long enough to reach the marrow of truth. I’ve grappled long enough to be satisfied that trust is more foundational than love, but that love is in fact the greatest of these. And that the importance of each may simply remain a matter of perspective.