Month: November 2020

 The river property sale closes today at 10 am 

Ode to Sapelo River

your marsh and river 

at dawn and dusk

ever-changing palette 

of brilliant hues,

whose back we scratched 

on novice skis,

whose arm we tickled 

casting lines, nets

whose oaks 

huddled family gatherings 

and 

sheltered peaceful togetherness

you picked up 

the dinner check:

deviled crab, 

steamed shrimp, 

fried fish

and lulled us 

in a dock hammock 

as we listened

for playful dinnertime dolphins

your trees and river breezes 

brought cleaner air 

to clear 

the lungs 

the mind

your heart our refuge 

from demands  

and deadlines

well done, friend! 

now you’re ready 

to 

fully embrace 

and care 

for a new family 

who’ll take 

your empty shell 

and 

breathe new life 

into you

you have so much more 

to give 

and you’re long overdue 

for a makeover 

and 

the laughter of family 

flooding your veins

we’ll never forget 

the joy you brought us! 

so long, old friend! 

the memories live on….

 

Choices

Today’s list writing was inspired by a poetry group member to live intentionally – to make good choices and think about the blessings and consequences of choices. I chose a quote from a book I love – Simple Abundance.

 

“Your life at this exact moment is a result of choices you made once upon a time – 30 minutes or 30 years ago…..wrong choices should never be confused with bad choices.” –  Sarah Ban Breathnach

5 of the Good Choices I Made Yesterday

1. I had conversations with all three of my children and my brother – some deep, some reflective, some funny. All uplifting! 
2. I came home for lunch to walk the dogs in the sunshine and enjoy the beauty of the day and the serenity of the country woods. 
3. I worked hard and was productive for my employer, preparing well-chosen literacy materials as Christmas gifts for our grant partners.
4. I kissed my husband and told him I love him. What a fabulous choice he is!  
5. I wrote in the morning and read in the evening.

Good choices drive a more meaningful life. A car doesn’t choose  a driver. A driver chooses a car. 

 Today’s prompt was to churn up moments from the past about healing. This one’s a Pantoum for my 27 year old daughter Ansley, who jokingly recalls the day her mama abandoned her in the bookstore. Thank God we can joke through all the “coulda been.”

Abandoned

it was all a scary mistake
abandoning her at Barnes & Noble
she asked to go to the van as I checked out
she said she was sleepy

abandoning her was my fault
I told her to stay on the sidewalk
(we’d parked on the curb) but she was sleepy
she was supposed to stay on the sidewalk to the
           van parked straight out front 

I said, “stay on the sidewalk” because the van was
            ten safe feet from the door
but she followed my only directions
she was supposed to go to the van
but as I drove away she stayed on the sidewalk 

she did what I asked – but never made it to the van
she wanted to go nap in the van on the third seat
but as I drove away she stayed on the sidewalk
it was all a scary mistake 

I had a meltdown when I realized I’d left her
I’d stopped for milk and bread at Food Lion
I called to wake her but her siblings said,
           “she’s not here”
she wasn’t there – I’d left her on the sidewalk 

I’d stopped for groceries 20 minutes away
I called the bookstore: “yes ma’am, she’s here”
I’d left her on the sidewalk
her pre-K teacher worked evenings at the bookstore 

“yes ma’am, she’s safe in the children’s section”
TOTAL MOM FAILURE! would DFACS take her?
Miss Maury was reading her a story
my meltdown shifted from panic to gratefulness 

I’d failed her – but she’d known exactly what to do
I’d called out to wake my four year old who wasn’t
            there
panic turned to peace when I got back to her
I’d unknowingly abandoned her and we’re still
           healing 23 years later

 

Today I’m thankful for the simplicity of enjoying nature, breathing fresh air, and living a relaxed weekend pace before Monday arrives again for its weekly stay with all its luggage. Here is a nonet- a nine line poem of descending syllables.  

Simple Life 

A majestic mountain view of leaves
red, green, brown, orange, and yellow
camping at Vogel State Park
just you and me – and time
time to breathe fresh air
time to cherish
what we choose:
simple
life

 

Nothingness

all sorts 

of vise grips 

tightening freedom 

hindering lingering 

clamping rest

choking life 

keep me on the move 

doing something else 

to check another box: 

done! 

I want some 

nothingness 

and with it 

I’ll take 

a cup of hot tea 

a book 

a journal 

a pen 

a comfy chair 

and two wet noses 

by a blazing fireplace 

savoring each moment 

cherishing the warmth 

of the deep 

peace

Today I’m thankful for my boys – Boo Radley and Fitz, a Schnauzer and Schnoodle whose neurotic tendencies are ever present. 

Fix-it-Up and Busybody

they’re
how they are
because of
how they’ve been 

abandoned
neglected
abused
rejected 

rough starts
left scars
broken leg
broken hearts 

they’re
how they are
because of
how they’ve been 

one lingering thing
is that they check
their people out
humans: such wrecks! 

if one of us
seems sad or hurt
or loud or mad
they’re on alert! 

they’re
how they are
because of
how they’ve been 

but love heals
and hugs assure
playful nuzzles
gentle muzzles 

waggy tails
perky ears
no more jail
no more tears 

they’re
how they are
because of
how they’ve been 

fix-it-up Fitz
and busybody Boo
swept up from the pits
into arms anew

they’re family now
on this funny farm
where no one tries
to bring them harm 

they’re
how they are
because of
how they’ve been

 A sensory blessing poem using a line from Mary Oliver’s “It Was Early” as a last line. 

Blessed

I can see it:
the one who said, “No more inside dogs!” with your lap full of Fitz and Boo Radley, sharing snacks and watching NCIS like weekend bachelors

I can taste it:
the perfect morning coffee you brew and bring me every day, fixed just the way I like it 

I can hear it:
you – watching every YouTube video you can find about new camper set up and then summarizing them for me so we get things right 

I can smell it:
the campfire smoke – built especially for me because you know I love sitting out by an open fire wrapped in a blanket looking at the stars with you

I can feel it:
the way your hand always finds mine, intermingling our fingers as you stride up beside me and whisper, “Quick! Act like you like me!” and look around suspiciously whenever we’re walking through any parking lot

Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed!

 

Moodling 

blessed with the gift of moodling

letting my mind wander 

losing all track of time  

aimlessly puttering and dawdling 

letting my mind wander 

daydreaming off in another world 

aimlessly puttering and dawdling 

idling and frittering away the day 

daydreaming off in another world 

carelessly ambling, pondering things 

idling and frittering the day away 

drifting on thoughts wherever I may 

carelessly ambling, pondering things 

losing all track of time 

drifting on thoughts wherever I may 

blessed with the gift of moodling

 

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed by Nothing

Elaine St. James wrote a whole series of books on simplifying life – getting to a state of inner simplicity by reducing outer complexities that overwhelm us. 

Albert Einstein said, “Out of clutter, find simplicity.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach simply says, “simplify, simplify simplify.” 

Patrick McDonnell’s The Goft of Nothing may be in the top 10 best children’s books of all time – and holds valuable wisdom. 

Henrietta Ripperger says, “If a home doesn’t make sense, nothing does.”

Before I moved from South Carolina to Georgia many years ago, I had a dear friend named Jeanne who inspired me to adopt her four word mantra: get rid of it! 

Every time I went to her house, I found space to savor moments – the coffee was more aromatic, the conversation was more stimulating, the laughter was more intense, the time spent was far more enjoyable.

Jeanne’s home wasn’t just organized. It was something better. It was sparsely furnished and uncluttered. Her closets held shockingly few clothes, but her wardrobe coordinated endlessly. Her kitchen held few dishes and utensils, but they all served a frequent purpose. With fewer things and less ownership, she was freer than most to sit back and enjoy life while her friends and neighbors washed boats and cars and cleaned large homes and were managed by the anchors of demand they’d accumulated. 

I’m thankful today for the many things I don’t own – things that don’t tie me down and interfere with living life. I am thankful for a friend who inspired me to see an empty space as room to breathe and not as a place to fill. 

I’m grateful that I adopted an intentionality of “thing” management twenty years ago – it was an investment that has paid off in even bigger ways over time. My children will thank me later. 

I’m blessed by the nothingness I enjoy: the beauty of wood floors that can be seen without rugs and wall-to-wall furniture, walls free of everything but a coat of paint,  kitchen counters that shine in the absence of small appliances, and a refrigerator unbound by magnetized souvenirs from every place I’ve ever visited, like some visual scrapbook that displays a play-by-play museum of  my life’s memories. 

Today, I am blessed by the everything in nothing. 

 

Thankful, Grateful, Blessed….and Fully Present

since August 2020

when my friend 

Kristi

a diagnostician

predicted I was a 

Type One

I’ve been perplexed 

about the results 

of my 

Enneagram

most people 

are confident numbers 

one through nine 

not me

I have a severe 

questionable gap 

on my spectrum

I’m either 

a one 

or a five 

none of this 

winging to the 

number next door 

my daily 

EnneaThoughts 

are usually 

scattered 

and random 

leaving me 

to try 

to average 

myself out 

to a three 

or 

a seven and a half

to be someone I’m not

that’s why 

I’m thankful 

today that 

either way- 

one or five-

I can be who I really am

my EnneaThought 

from the 

Enneagram Institute 

for November 10 

if I am a Type One: 

how can you 

fully experience 

your presence 

here and now? 

be “inside” 

your experience 

fully connected 

with the sensations 

of life 

in your body 

my EnneaThought

from the 

Enneagram Institute 

for November 10 

if I’m a Type Five: 

how can you fully experience

your presence 

here and now? 

connect 

with the sensations 

of life 

in your body 

from the top 

of your head 

to the bottom 

of your feet

I’ve waited 

so long

for a similar 

EnneaThought

so I could 

focus on one goal

none of this 

split personality stuff

but longer still

for connected

to mean what 

it used to mean

back in the day