Patchwork Prose and Verse
Alternate Plans for Educators During a Pandemic
our pantries stocked
with emergency tuna
we have a plan b, c, d, e….
but like tufts of a dandelion
parachute we wonder:
will we hold?
or will
Sal Khan get his wish
and become the world’s
one teacher?
Steps to being Kim Johnson
First, reconsider. But somebody has to do it. So…
1 Be born to a Southern Baptist preacher in seminary who plops you down on his desk in the middle of all his open books and speaks to you in Hebrew. Just smile and coo.
2 Accept that you will always be in trouble somewhere- even when you’re not in trouble everywhere. The church shares joint custody of PKs.
3 Love dogs. Want them all – even ones that aren’t yours to have.
4 But reject cats. Your DNA makes no sense why this is so. It just is.
5 Be accident prone! Fall off houses and out of trees and get thrown off of strange bareback horses you had no business riding in the first place. Then lie about how it happened. No…..wait. Be a creative storyteller. Yes! A mystery writer with a less incriminating plot.
4 Don’t pay attention in math class. It’s boring as all hell and you’re never going to be successful at it, anyway. You can’t even count.
5 Grow up on two Atlantic Coast islands. Learn to crab, fish, swim, ski, and how not to drown in a “for real” undertow – not just the one you’re living in.
7 Have a little bratty brother who finds less trouble than you but who always gets caught. Write a book about him one day and tell all the family secrets – well most, anyway. You’ll be friends for life.
10 Don’t listen. Do it your way, the way your friends say. What does family know, anyway? Throw a wedding with the wrong one, then see what family knew. Get a divorce and be grateful for three good things that came of it – your children.
7 Listen. Consider your family’s nod. They tell truths others won’t risk. Marry the right one – the one who calls you the love of his life and is the only man on the face of the earth who could possibly ever mean it. Love that man to pieces!
8 Move to the Johnson Funny Farm. Have dogs – lots and lots of dogs. Realize you are far more successful at parenting dogs than you ever were at parenting humans.
9 Read. Write. Teach. Travel. Blog. Enjoy too many sweets. Wave a tearful goodbye to your thyroid, wipe your eyes, and then throw away that Kleenex!
10 Realize at your mother’s death that your dad has reverted to speaking Hebrew. Pray that you can find him his own Schnoodle puppy who speaks all languages of the heart. Call your partner-in-crime brother who still loves you and devise a tag-teaming delivery plan: a surprise Schnoodle attack.
11 FaceTime the delivery. Just smile and coo in Hebrew. Grab five more Kleenex – one for letting the puppy be someone else’s, and one for your dad’s happy Hebrew heart!
In the End
every morning
I pour the kefir and
swallow eight teeming world populations
of life: 50 billion
microscopic bacterial organisms
in a double gulp
all in the name of probiotic health.
I line up the containers
on the refrigerator shelf
and ponder these
overpopulated colonies
like so many bacterial pilgrims
boarding a Mayflower
praying for a journey of survival
through treacherous depths
and wonder
what they hope for
in the end.
Today we were inspired by David Duer to write Diction Poems, using relationships with word sounds and the repeating line Let’s Meet Somewhere….
A Clandestine Valentine
let’s meet somewhere
between Tallahassee and not-a-hassle
face-to-face – no more Facebook
at the Albany Walmart parking lot
after our late-night indite to seal the deal
let’s meet somewhere
between happily married and woefully wed
a quick tryst – a clandestine Valentine-destined
love potion – not broken –
not nine on the corner of 34th and Vine
what was yours- now mine
not red not pink not blue not green
we’ll share this love somewhere between
let’s meet somewhere
blue RAV, white Chev
and share the love from his to hers
spouses unknowing where we’re going
yours won’t detest in the midst of divorce
mine may weep tears – a reason he fears
or smile, when he finds out about this love child
let’s meet somewhere
and do the math – no dollars involved
you: one to zero, me: two to three
this act of love is painful- but free
I can’t wait to meet this new life
she’ll be sweet
I’ll hug her and love her and raise her just right
…so pass me this Schnoodle pup full of delight
my Valentine baby, all mixed black and white!
Inspired by Allison Berryhill – I tried my hand at a sonnet based on a friend’s Facebook post about the 12022021 palindrome ambigram that can be read as a military date or a traditional date and all be seen correctly, and I tried to get the pulse of Iambic Pentameter heartbeats in there but there my be some arrhythmia….
12202021: Sonnet for a Palindromic- Ambigramic Non-Illusion
back, forward, upside-down and inside- out
this palindrome and ambigram inspire
reminders to us all to think about
perceptions not embedded in quagmire
the way we tell a truth is often slant
Miss Dickinson’s prophetic verses ring
conundrums help us CAN when we all CAN’T
just lift one voice in unity and sing
enigmas’ mirrors make us stop and think
perspectives shift and bend like rubber bands
the hills we’ll die on flash with every blink
when will we open eyes, heal hearts, join hands?
there’s more than just one way that can be right
try different angles for increased insight!
-Kim Johnson
No Itinerary
Those midwinter weekends
of no plans ~
just the two of us
sandwiched between the dogs
are better
than any summer picnic
on a crowded beach.
Floors
Not long after I had arrived
at work
the news came in your silence
after my hello.
She was gone.
I rushed to meet you
there by her side ~
gray lips,
ashy skin,
completely still,
lifeless
.
As we waited in silence
for the funeral home to come
I wondered if all this world
is a lobby
where we wait for a room key
from God
in a judgment elevator
that dings our faith
takes us up
or down
opens to a certain floor
of works
and which floor she was on.
Alpha and Omega
while she was living
you were the first and last child
to ever see her
Off-Spring?
even the groundhogs
couldn’t agree on the plan
on the day you died
This poem is dedicated to every kid who ever found the courage to take a leap
and anyone who ever helped it happen
The Two-Scoop High-Dive Foot-First Feat
from the high dive
of the Sea Island Beach Club
the cool blue pool
was the earth from space
we tiptoed to the end
shivered,
chickened-out
crept back again
careful to stay
in the middle
down the ladder
we lowered
our trembling limbs
to recover
slunk across
to the ice cream stand
averting our cowardly eyes
from the lowered shades
of the sunbathers
mocking our courage
but then-
then
then the tall black ice cream man
in his white paper hat
and white stringed apron
who in the mid-1970s
could spot defeat
of every kind
took one look
and knew
just what to do
he perked up:
tilted his gaze
eyebrows raised
mouth ablaze
with a smile
flashed his big white teeth
with a gold crown
and asked
“Two Scoops??”
of course
he already knew
the answer
but we shyly smiled
and nodded, whispered
“yes sir, chocolate, please”
and he bent into
the freezer
with his metal scoop
rolled up two spheres
of a world we
could
dive into
devouring it
one lick at a time
as we sat
on the vinyl-strapped
pool chairs
in the cool shade
to stay
ahead of the
melting drips
trickling down the cone
to the last soggy-crisp
bite of the cream-laden
cake bottom
then
sticky-fingered
off we ran
whistle-warned
by the lifeguard
“Walk!”
he scolded
and the shades lowered
again
denting our courage
again
Mom’s head raised
from her sunbathing
at the whistle
somehow knowing
her shades, too, lowered
eyes adjusting
peering out
spotting our
chocolate-rimmed mouths
garnering us
30 minutes of no swimming
for our stomachs to settle
so we dipped our feet
in the baby pool
for forever
and waited
and waited
and waited
until finally
her yellow and white
gingham sunhat shifted
and she released us
and with the sure-footed steps
of an Olympian
we marched boldly
back to that ladder
climbed with confidence
and strode to the end
of that board
peeked over the edge
shuddered again
from outer space
at the tiny speck of world below
crept back
to the ladder
d
o
w
n
and
stopped
closed our eyes
turned around
took a deep breath
clenched our fists
stepped forward
one step at a time
then
fueled by a double dose of empowerment
opened our eyes
looked straight ahead
and sprinted off the edge
performing the greatest
Two-Scoop High-Dive Foot-First Feat
ever
in the history of the world
and we knew it
because
from
behind the ice cream stand
we saw
two
black thumbs up
Common Threads 