Loungewear Spree

For six months leading up to retirement, I dreamed about loungewear past 9 a.m. like on Saturdays. I’ll always and forevermore get up early, before the sun usually – – no alarm clock needed. I’m wired up that way, unfortunately. But what I enjoy about weekend mornings (now weekday mornings) is not the sleep; it’s the sitting around in comfortable clothes. Lingering over coffee. Writing and reading. Eating breakfast slowly before walking on the treadmill.

So I figured that in retirement, I would be needing a pair of lounge pants for each day of the week. I thought back to those younger years of Day of the Week underpants. This was going to be my retiree’s version of Day of the Week lounge pants. I found a 70% off sale and ordered 5 pairs of the soft, flowy cotton knit kind that have pockets and thick elastic waists. I didn’t care that some were Christmas at all – I’d wear Easter egg pants in October with a non-matching soft t-shirt and my hair going every whichaway without a passing thought if it meant comfort and value.

But when these lounge pants arrived, I discovered they “don’t make them like they used to.” These lounge pants were “new and improved,” and they didn’t fit me like my watercolor dot pair and my paisley pair. So back to the store they went, and I went on an in-person spree to find a suitable pair at Walmart.

The pumpkin spice pattern and color caught my eye, and I even added a top so I’d have the full set – – an actual matching shirt instead of an unquestionably long-worn cozy unmatched t-shirt. That way, if the Amazon guy shows up before I’m dressed, I’m still halfway presentable. Or so I figured. When I put on the shirt, it’s a cropped shirt. My midriff shows, and this is not a good thing. These remind me of my harem pajamas I had when I was little and every girl wanted to be Barbara Eden in I Dream of Jeannie.

Someday, I’ll have a selection of loungewear that checks all the boxes. That day is not today.

For today, I’m in a comfy pair of blue paisleys with a faded gray v-neck t-shirt from a group event five years ago.

And for today, it’s the only loungewear I need. I’ll sip my coffee, breathe in, exhale, and remind myself that I can double down on the days wearing three pairs of lounge pants and the math works just fine that way.