I’m borrowing a line or two from Lucille Clifton today, from her book Quilting: Poems 1987-1990, to write a borrowed line poem. This line in italics is from her poem “eyes”:
I could say so much to you
if you could understand me
Resyntaxed Semantics
I could say so much to you
if you could understand me
but the mixmaster
spun the vinyl
resyntaxed
semantics
now
I'm the one
who doesn't
recognize
the tune
I once knew
the original
lyrics
of
y
o
u
Common Threads 
Beautiful and haunting (and you borrowed from one of my all time favorite poets!). Thank you.
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She’s simply amazing, Lucille C! Thank you, Amy!
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Beautifully done. I love how it narrows down to a needle point as it gets back to the origin.
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“resyntaxed” is an interesting word to imply change. This poem leaves me wanting to know more.
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Thank you, Margaret!
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Kim,
This poem is visually stunning. It looks like a drip at the end. Have you thought about putting it into a Canva? Love these words:
resyntaxed
semantics
These lines speak to the way language changes, often because people change. Of course the ambiguity in not knowing to whom the speaker refers has me wondering. I’ve noticed lately you’ve written several poems w/ this ambiguity, and I worry something is going on that’s prompting you to release these lamentations in your poems.
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Thank you, Glenda. You know me well!
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That is a powerful poem and one which opens to the reader and their own experience. I saw an interview with Lucille Clifton just this morning where she explained that teachers get it wrong when we teach craft. The idea of borrowing lines inspires me and your poem is one that I’ll think about for quite some time.
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Thank you, Melanie.
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Kim, It looks like you have pinpointed the issue with the needle at the bottom of your poem. The power of using a line from another poet stands out clearly through this beauty.
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Thanks, Denise!
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Wow! This is a powerful poem that captures how we feel when someone we used to know changes in inexplicable ways. Sad but true. Well done! I may try to “borrow a line”…sounds like an interested way to jumpstart a writing piece.
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I see the spinning of a record in your gorgeous poem – that is so cool. I think of “being a broken record,” II don’t know if this is your perspective or if you are writing from someone else’s point of view, hear the defeat in your words, how hard “I” tried. I love your use of “resyntaxed.” Awesome poetry, Kim!
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Thank you, Maureen! I tried borrowed line and shape poetry mixed together today.
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Kim – this is an amazing metaphor, crafted with vibrant language and images. Just today I used the phrase “broken record” with a group of young teachers.. then thought to ask if they knew what that was. Alas. Time changes us all – this poem is a haunting reminder.
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Fran, your comment reminds me of my husband’s expression the other day on coming home and telling me he’d asked an office of people if they knew who Jimmy Stewart was after talking about a movie. He stared into a sea of blank faces. No one knew, and I think his whole hope for the world changed that day. Broken records, Jimmy Stewart…..we lived in the good old days, didn’t we?
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Beautifully crafted poem, powerful in metaphor and visual spacing and formatting.
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