The Pledge

   


The Pledge 

A fellow towel shopper reached toward the back of a shelf. She was a large woman, naked from her t-shirt to her sandals. 

I did what others might do in this situation – silently gasped, forced a poker face, and pretended to scrutinize the craftsmanship of the towel loops while recovering from shock. I did the sneak-a-look, look away, sneak-a-look thing people do when they don’t mean to stare but feel compelled to assess the carnage of a train wreck. No one wants to be a fake alarmist. 

Nearby shoppers were sneaking looks, too. I was contemplating whether I should alert security when I noticed a slight hem just above her ankles, revealing that we were dealing not with full-fledged nudity but with seamless khaki leggings. Semi-relief trickled over me. 

Here’s a strong life lesson, I realized.

My mother’s voice kicked in: Form-fitting khaki garments are not your friends.

Holding up my three Girl Scout pledge fingers on my right hand, I silently vowed On my honor, I will try….to do everything in my power never to appear naked in public. That day, I purged all solid khaki clothing items from my wardrobe. 

New towels would have to wait. 

6 Replies to “The Pledge”

  1. Egads, I wondered where this was going-! Nearly covered my eyes even during the reading. I saw some photos once as proof of why one should never wear beige/tan/khaki leggings… lesson instantly learned! Love your wit, your storytelling prowess, and how you incorporated the Girl Scout pledge. All in all, the fun helped me overcome the horror. 🙂

    Like

  2. Kim, you had what I call a Sharon Stone moment. Is there a five second rule for glancing like for dropping good on the floor? I’d be mortified, but I’m also inspired. You’ve sparked a memory I need to write a slice about.

    Like

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