Divisive Decisions
brain cancer
glioblastoma, stage 3.5
diagnosed December 2019
we spent Christmas at Piedmont Atlanta Hospital when families could still visit
she came home with a paralyzed right side
not uncommon after brain surgery
started therapy
at Warm Springs Rehab
“we need to get them some help”
the sons urged
“dad can’t do this by himself….he’s 84
and she can’t walk”
“we’ll all take turns…. we’ve got this”
the daughter
decided unanimously
all by herself
for everyone
and became
an overnight cheerleader
then she lost
her glitzy hair bow and pompoms
her manicure faded
and the stress
of the no-help decision
aged her drastically
the sons had full time jobs
the sons knew
their dad wasn’t equipped to be a full-time caretaker
the sons saw the limitations
the daughter balked
the daughter said
no to help
no to hospice
no to living
no to dying
“no drug-induced stupors here” she swore
thus proving that some stupors aren’t
the sons begged for comfort measures
the sons pleaded for medical mercy
for their mother
but full medical power was granted the daughter
“I see crying but I don’t see tears” the daughter pointed out….
the daughter accused the sons of not helping more
the sons accused the daughter of abuse and neglect of their mother
the fighting got ugly
the fighting continues
a feckless father
watches
as his
wordless wife
wails and writhes
in her corner chair
every day
all day long
as his children disagree –
draw lines
end unity
as a family falls apart –
from once-upon-a-time
Florida vacations
under the same big roof
in the same warm sunshine
as a life ends –
a mother whose
greatest pride was always
her precious family
some decisions
are beyond difficult
decisions about death
can be
divisively impossible
Common Threads 