Category: Self-Improvement

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2025 Book Club Picks

If you’re ever in the small rural county in Georgia where I live, you might find yourself at one of the two traffic lights we have, right along the courthouse square. You’d look at the historic buildings lining the square and wonder about the curious little shops and what all goes on inside once you stood back long enough to take note of the intricate patterns in the old brick facades. There’s a bank, a couple of hair salons, a coffee shop, a donut shop, a few boutiques, a couple of restaurants (every small town in Georgia must have a good barbecue joint), a dentist and an optician’s office, a realty office, a mercantile, a Chamber of Commerce office, and…….{drumroll, please}………my favorite: a bookstore, A Novel Experience. Click here to check it out.

It’s not just another familiar bookstore. This one is magical, with its historic interior brick walls with rustic plaster repairs, a creaky wooden floor, a refrigerator where you can have a free water if you need one (there is wine in there, too, and a coffee bar), a circle of eccentric mismatched comfy chairs by the back door so you can sit and talk or write or knit or….just sit, and the most amazing lineup of books for the monthly book clubs. They have a few different clubs, too, which meet at different times and focus on different interests so that there is a club for everyone.

I got there on their first day of business in 2025, and I saw that they had their books already chosen from their last meeting of 2024. They’ll create cards that readers can take to put on their refrigerators to remind them of which book is scheduled for which club for which month, but I took a snapshot or two of the “rough draft” of the lineup with the cards that tell what the books will be. Some of them have not even come in yet.

This is the place I go when I need the calm reassurance that there is still peace to be found in a place other than my own home. I swear, I think they have some kind of essential oil that is called stress-free small-town down-home-rooted belonging or something. Every bit of hurried pace disappears right when you walk in. Of course, I’ve lived here long enough to know all who work there, and this shop is one of several places that still greet customers by first name. It thrills me when I walk in and Karen throws her hands up and says, “Hi, Kim!” Chris does, too, and they stop to talk to their customers with sincere interest in what is happening in our busy lives.

What are you reading this year? I’ve started the year with Rosamunde Pilcher’s book Winter Solstice, but I’ve already cheated and delved into the movie. I finished The Beautiful and the Wild over the break just as the year turned, and we’ll have our office book club to discuss that one January 21. I started James, and I’m halfway finished. If you have any recommendations, please share. I tend to prefer nonfiction that reads like fiction or that spotlights travel or nature in some fresh and unexpected way. Sy Montgomery is always, always a favorite. I’m looking for a few readers who can recommend some amazing reads, and I hope you’ll be one of them!

If you’re ever here, call me and I’ll run right down to the shop and meet you for coffee or wine and book talk, ’cause that’s how we do things in small towns here in Georgia.

our local bookstore

announced its monthly choices

for each reading club

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Action Planning Acrostic

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As the year begins, we

Consider all

That we want to accomplish:

Insurmountable

Obstacles

Never-ending

Projects

Loom large

As we stand back

Navigating a path

Negotiating the tasks ahead, asking:

Is it all that insurmountable, really?

Not when there is a structured plan to

Get the wheels turning…….

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Green Tea Goals

I’m sitting with my

cup of green tea by the fire

contemplating life

today, I reflect

on the past year, plan for the

year ahead: paper

and pencil in hand

to capture my thoughts and then

calendarize them…….

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My One Little Word for 2025

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It’s that time of year: time to choose a word as a beacon to guide me through 2025.

I chose the word listen as my One Little Word three years ago, and for the past two years I have chosen the word pray to guide me through the years. My former words won’t leave me – I still keep them as my own – especially pray. Once a new word has been chosen, former words don’t vanish, turning down some dark alley lurking between the minutes of the midnight hour of New Year’s Eve. They stick like blood kin that want more words to come to the table in the family of chosen words, much like siblings wanting more brothers and sisters.

I’m not abandoning listen or pray. But a strange word took hold of me a few weeks ago, and I don’t fully know why. It’s an adjective and adverb and, according to the dictionary, can also be used as a pronoun and is sometimes used interjectionally, too. This is not an actionable verb as my former words have been.

My One Little Word for 2025 shall be enough.

It seems an unusual choice to me right now, but I know it will become clear once the year gets going. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that once we pray for the right word, we must listen hard enough when it comes alongside us with the pick me! pick me! promptings.

I felt tears welling a couple of years ago when I discovered I was a one on the Enneagram – an overachieving perfectionist whose own worst enemy is…..well, …… ME. I can’t ever seem to live up to my own bar – it’s been set far too high for far too long. I often feel I fall short, even when I succeed. I need to be able to say that I am enough – – and to believe me when I do.

If I do a thing, I overdo it.
I cook for an army rather than for the two of us at the table. I own too many books and too many shoes. I need to learn to appreciate the blessings of having enough– without having too much. I need to find my library card more often than the Amazon cart. I need to learn what is enough and to be a good steward of the management of it.

My sense of adventure is insatiable. I want to explore every GPS location on the globe and don’t quite know what to do with myself when I get there, while under-appreciating that the exquisite beauty of my own town is a unique world all its own – enough to keep me fascinated right here where I am if I only see it with the wonder-filled eyes it deserves.

And my world gets out of whack. I work long hours, and I’m feeling my bones and my soul tell me that doing too much in one place leaves too little in another. More balance would bring enough to both the professional realm and the personal one. I’m often rushing my husband through the extra glass of iced tea he likes to have at the end of a meal if we are in a restaurant, even at times when we have no hurry or particular place to be. I envy his ability to amble where I can’t seem to slow down and fill my lungs with enough air to take the time to relax and breathe a little.

There are gestures where I fall short: phone calls, birthday cards, random text messages to say I love you to those who mean the world to me. I fail to do enough to let my family and friends know how frequently I think of them.

The first word that appealed to me for 2025 was less. I almost chose it – then, I realized that less may not always hit the marks I need to hit. I could eat less, I could weigh less, I could spend less. I could check a few boxes and say I did less. But the real challenge will be sorting what needs more and what needs less to find the just-right balance of enough.

If you have chosen a OLW, please share it in the comments. I love the stories of how words manifest themselves to the people they choose. This is the first word that has me scratching my head about its reasons for knocking at my door. But here we are.

Happy New Year, and happy word finding!

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Calm Christmas: Reflecting on the Holidays

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2019), and in Chapter 8, she presents ways to reflect on the holidays and to take stock in considering ways to grow through the coming year as we count our blessings.

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin tugs at me each year in January. It’s the ultimate book on how to take a year and be productive while seeking happiness by creating order in the areas where we can rein in some disarray by creating goals and eliminating what we we no longer use or need. Kempton provides a similar structure in this chapter – – a reflection table to take stock of areas needing improvement and to create a plan to address them through the year by mapping the year, reflecting, and letting go of things we need to release in order to move forward. It’s a way of establishing purpose and achieving goals with a monthly emphasis to avoid feeling a sense of overwhelming defeat by looking at all the things that need to be done. These authors break down tasks into manageable steps.

She begins by inviting readers to draw a table in a notebook, beginning with the top row, with columns that begin with the word theme and are followed by each month of the year from January to December. The left columns are labeled home, work, change, growth, ups, and downs. This takes time reflecting to consider the milestones and major events in these areas – and should be brief.

Next, couples or individuals can add some short notes about change and growth, along with ups and downs that may or may not be related to those areas of home and work. In the next step, where the real thought comes into play, the table makes it easier to notice the patterns of change and their effects. Readers can answer questions related to dreams and practical things, and also can consider things that they may need to let go in order to move forward with a better mindset. This enables clear goal-setting and helps achieve a sense of purpose and mission.

And goals, throughout my life, have proven more successful than resolutions. The clear focus and the way that a goal offers incremental steps in an overall process is far more effective in shaping change than one pop of a resolution ultimatum in January. I need a year to accomplish most of the tasks I set out to do as I look at the year ahead. It takes planning to be successful. It takes forethought and intentionality to create conditions that bring happiness and peace.

My plan for the week between Christmas and New Year’s is to return to Chapter 8 with the table. I want to invite my spouse, too, to be a part of the shared goals so that we work together toward a common vision for the coming year.

For today, though, it’s all about the moment of getting to the end of the work day and the beginning of the holiday break. There are some days that have ONE GOAL, and surviving the last day of school before Christmas break is one of them!

The table as it appears on my Kindle (the top row is on the previous page and contains the first months of the year).

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A Calm Christmas: After Christmas

An easier 7 foot pencil tree

This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2019), and in Part 3 starting in Chapter 7, she presents ways to preserve the quiet times by savoring the “hush.” She encourages time to reflect on Christmas and suggests ways to avoid stress during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.

I’m particularly excited for the moments of hush this year. My youngest daughter is scheduled to be induced two days after Christmas. She’s pregnant with her first child, a son, who will be named Silas. This gift of a new family member is the most precious gift of all, and while the moments of hush will be few and far between with the constant needs of an infant, the moments of watching a baby sleep will bring deep peace and joy. I plan to be there to celebrate the birth and get to know this new little one.

Indeed, a baby changes everything – especially at Christmas!

The relaxed pace of the week after Christmas affords down time for many, where the world takes a deep pause from work to play and spend time with family. Many businesses in our area are closed from Christmas until New Year’s Day. It’s the perfect time, Kempton writes, to take stock of your house, take mini-breaks, reflect on the past year and plan for the new, to write, and to engage in other creative projects. She encourages us to take a digital detox day by turning off all electronics and not checking email. In fact, she suggests that a day in nature is a great way to hit the reset button for deep thinking that is free of distraction. The chapter is loaded with specific ideas such as hibernating with hot chocolate, flipping mattresses, taking blankets outside to watch the moon and stars, taking mini-trips to local places such as museums or movies, and flying kites on the beach.

The week between Christmas is the best time to reflect on the past year, and to begin thinking about the One Little Word to guide the next year. I’ve loved the power of the word for the past several years, and while I’ve kept the word PRAY for the past two because I can find no better word, I will take a second word for next year because one is calling to me. I’ll keep PRAY as my guiding word, but there will be another that will travel with me through the year as well. I’ll think of them as the focal and diopter lenses on a camera. One big word, and then a refining word. More on this later.

Here are some questions Kempton urges us to consider for reflection between the week of Christmas and New Year’s Day:

When did you experience joy?

What was especially tiring?

What was magical?

What was calm?

Whose presence was challenging? a delight?

Which of your efforts were appreciated, and which felt like a waste of time or energy or money?

What was your single most favorite memory this Christmas?

Which preparations did you enjoy the most?

What would you like to do differently next Christmas?

I already know that putting up the smaller tree was a good move for us, given that I got sick before Christmas and battled an upper respiratory infection that left me fatigued. We were late putting up the tree and figured that since we would have minimal activity in our own home to celebrate, we didn’t want a lot of decorations. Still, we love the lights of a tree for ushering in Christmas Spirit first thing in the morning and in the evenings while we are home, so we pulled down the 7′ pre-lit pencil tree requiring no assembly rather than the 12′ pre-lit tree that goes up in three tiers and requires ladders and three full boxes of ornaments. And we are enjoying it just as much. It may be the new standard for us. Already, I’m not dreading having to “take down Christmas.” It’s simpler this year, and it feels more manageable, allowing me to look forward to less work in the aftermath of the holidays.

And there will be fresh. pumpkin bread, a treat I reserve for Thanksgiving and Christmas and that has been the trademark bread in my home since the mid-1980s when I got the recipe from a cookbook at a bridal shower. Everyone loves this recipe, and I’ll link the recipe here.

Try a loaf for your family. Have a cup of coffee by the tree in the early morning with dogs piled in your lap next to the fireplace, and feel the comfort and warmth of fresh bread before the rest of the household rises. It’s a magical treat.

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A Calm Christmas: Heart and Hearth

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 5, she considers reflecting on where the heart is and what the heart needs in celebrating. She encourages us to contemplate the gatherings with a mindful spirit for how we spend time and what we do with others to celebrate. She reminds us in Chapter 5 that “time-honored traditions are only worth maintaining if they honor your time and bring you pleasure.”

This may be my favorite chapter yet. Kempton opens with a reflection of a Christmas Day moment from her teenage years, providing a snapshot frozen in time to show her grandmother, her parents, her siblings, and herself gathered in the midst of Christmas dinner. She illustrates it so well, it’s reminiscent of a Hallmark ad or a Publix commercial. And then comes the sobering reminder: things will not always be this way.

She redefines what a calm Christmas means: A calm Christmas does not have to be a small Christmas or even a quiet Christmas. Rather, it is one where you remove your own stressors, let go of perfection, and focus on what really matters to you. She then takes us through a process of re-imagining how we gather, how we gift, and how we gambol.

Each year, my father has traditionally given me a box of books. He’s a book collector, so he thinks mindfully about what I will love. He knows my unique and quirky reading personality and what will be meaningful for me. Among my treasures throughout the years are a first edition copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, signed by Harper Lee herself; a very old copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck; and an assortment of Gladys Tabor books, including Stillmeadow Sampler, Stillmeadow Calendar, and Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge, three of my absolute favorites. Oh, the joy they bring to me as I sit and read and re-read and re-read again. These gifts are mindful, meaningful, and they matter – the hallmarks of great gifting.

Most of my writing circle of friends know that my father is undergoing chemotherapy for colorectal cancer. It leaves him fatigued and weak, so we have decided to postpone our gatherings this year to allow him to rest and to minimize his exposure to large numbers of people who bring risk of germs to him in his state of weakened immunity. We won’t gather until later in January, and the gathering will be simple when it happens – a few hours, a meal, and a time of reflection and togetherness.

Meanwhile, to keep Dad’s spirit of Christmas book gifting alive and well, my brother and I found the perfect gift for him. It’s a Simplay 3 Little Free Library that he can put on the corner of his yard at the intersection on the south end of St. Simons Island, Georgia. Even though he may not be able to share books with me on Christmas as he has done in the past, he can certainly find the joy in sharing books with others this Christmas season and feel the warmth of spirit as he watches folks consider the collection of books he curates to go inside. He has always had a mountain of books to pass along, and while some are collectible, others are modern bestsellers.

Book gifting is a tradition that matters, and my brother and I know all too well the joy our dad finds in sharing his deep love of reading. Books make a difference in how we see the world, and Dad is a perfect reader/book matchmaker. We have been matched! We can’t wait to see the next great matches he makes!

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A Calm Christmas: Celebrations During Christmas

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 4 which begins Part 2, she presents ways to consider mindful giving as we celebrate during Christmas.

Kempson says, “Mindful giving comes down to three questions: whether to give, what to give, and how to give.” She goes on to explain that sometimes, the best gift of all is the gift of nothing (there is a child’s picture book title by that name) – that the social contract of giving is often felt most strongly this time of year when the release is there to simply forego gifting. In fact, she provides a statistic that 60 million gifts in 2018 in the UK were unwanted, according to one study, and that another survey found that six out of every ten gifts given to a sample of 2,000 adults were unwanted. Before giving, she offers 3 questions to guide the gifting: is it mindful, is it meaningful, and is it memorable?

Our office holds a gift exchange, and while it’s fun, I’d lay a wager that the numbered gifts fall into the statistics above. For this occasion, I look at the dollar value and either go with wrapped cash or a gift card from a certain huge retailer named after a river in South America. Everyone participating seems to like this option so they can either use it to further their own Christmas shopping or personalize a gift for themselves – from someone who doesn’t know any of them well enough to give a one-size-appeals-to-all gift in this eclectic mix of personalities that would satisfy whomever ends up with it. And it works like a charm.

For the smaller department sector, I set out to answer the age-old question about the best gift for all ages. Everyone loves it. Everyone needs it. Everyone uses it. No one expects it.

And I came up with the answer to this universal question by looking deep into my own soul and asking: what does everyone need that everyone probably already has but could use more of, where size, age, gender, religious affiliation, and political persuasion does not matter? And a clear answer rose to the top.

Chapstick.

I ordered three dozen tubes of Candy Cane Chapstick, along with a supply of clip holder sleeves I’d seen on a travel blog recently. The sleeves have a clip that allows users to attach the tube to a lanyard or a purse loop or backpack strap so that the tubes don’t end up in pockets, either lost through holes, melting with body temperature – or worse, going through the washer and dryer and staining clothes with petroleum spots like I’ve done so many times.

I grabbed a tabletop tree from Hobby Lobby and festooned the tree with the best guard against bitter winter wind that exists – this universal tiny tube of lip bliss. And here is what I discovered: you can’t go wrong with a candy cane Chapstick tree. It’s mindful, meaningful, and (hopefully) memorable – at least for a season.

Even with all of the thanks and appreciative conversations with people asking for the links to be able to re-create the idea at their family gatherings this year, the thrill of giving something you know people both need and want far outweighs the joy of receiving. It’s the greatest feeling in the world!

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A Calm Christmas: Comfort and Joy in Contemplation of Spirit

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 3, she presents ways to seek comfort and joy in winter by seeking our natural rhythms and learning from nature.

To contemplate ways to simplify and nourish our spirits, Kempson encourages us to go gently into winter mornings by tiptoeing to the kitchen, light candles, meditate, or write as self-care measures. She asks these questions:

How could you simplify your home, schedule, digital life? How can you nourish your mind, body, spirit, and loved ones, and what rituals will see you through winter?

So much can be simpler. I once heard that if you feel stressed and need to hit the reset button, spend a half hour in nature. But those who are really busy should spend an hour. Sometimes we don’t have control over simplifying our work schedules or the digital life that work requires, but when home is the haven that allows the respite at day’s end, there is much to be loved. I walk my dogs along a path my husband keeps cut on the farm…and would you believe I go in my flannel pajamas and boots, praying all the while that a delivery truck doesn’t come calling while I’m out in my loungewear? We drink cinnamon orange tea in the evenings in winter, and while we don’t have a real log fireplace, we keep the gas logs going if it’s anywhere below 60 degrees outside. These are the ways we nourish ourselves, and the simple rituals are what will take us through winter. Sometimes, doing as little as possible on weekends is the order of the day, letting the book stacks speak their stories to us as we read the day away.

One of my favorite thoughts in this chapter is “the sounds of winter are cracking in poetry, wind in the trees, rain on the roof, a spitting fire, the thump of a log falling away from the flames, rustling paper, mulled wine poured steaming into a glass, the rhythm of the weather forecast calmly announcing that the storms will rage on.”

That’s the epitome of hygge at its finest – in its best season to be fully experienced as a way to embrace the season of winter.

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