Author: kimhaynesjohnson

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Pet Rock Relationships

Have patience with everything that is unsolved in your heart and try to cherish the questions themselves. – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

In 2006 when I was going through a divorce, I did a lot of self-help reading as I climbed out of the rubble to begin a new life. Somewhere in all of those books, I came across a line that still causes me to stop and reflect: Trust is more important than love.

Apparently, several different authors have used the line, because it’s attributed to a list of names on a Google search. For nearly 20 years now, I have wondered about ways that the trust vs. love question could be true.

The Aha! moment came in a conference on building community partnerships that are categorized as connecting, cooperating, and collaborative. The speaker said, “Collaboration is built at the speed of trust.”

I’d never really considered the foundational position of the trust factor. A roof is as important as a foundation of a house, but without the foundation, the roof cannot stand. The Faith, Hope, and Love Bible verse tells us the greatest of these is love. I’ve returned again and again to this thought-gnawing statement about trust and love. But being the greatest, being the most important, and being the most foundational are pivotal superlatives.

So when the speaker explained the development of community partner relationships, the importance of trust became clear all at once. Trust is foundational. It happens first. It’s the prerequisite for relationships to grow. If there is ever a chance for love to bloom, it must first be rooted in trust.

No marriage, no friendship, no partnership will ever be anything more than a pet rock relationship without trust.

Finally. Finally, I have chewed long enough to reach the marrow of truth. I’ve grappled long enough to be satisfied that trust is more foundational than love, but that love is in fact the greatest of these. And that the importance of each may simply remain a matter of perspective.

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Day 5 Open Write with Barb Edler and Glenda Funk

Yesterday was the last day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. I took a break yesterday to pause and give thanks for my daughter Mallory on her birthday.

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a Postcard Poem. Using a postcard or a blank index card, you draw a vertical line to separate the address and the poem on the writing side. Here’s my Haiku poem, prompted by a suspension bridge I crossed in December at Fall Creek Falls in Tennessee:

tracking feet

suspension bridges
crossable risk-taking feat
empowering treks
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Gratitude for Mallory on her Birthday

It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you are slow traveling to experience the world with all your senses and not the World Wide Web from behind a screen…..when our mind is free from information overload, we tend to slow down.  – Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Today is the last day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. Please join us and write with us!

I’ll share my Open Write writing from today in tomorrow’s post. Today, I give thanks for my daughter, Mallory, who celebrates her 36th trip around the sun. Happy birthday, Mal!

MALLORY MICHELLE MEYER

My daughter~
Adventurer
Les Miserables star!
Little Shop of Horrors fan
Outdoor-Lover
Rock Hounder
Youthful lover of life

Master Jeopardy Player
Indubitably a Prize Child
Child of God
Hiker of deserts and hills
Everyone's instant friend
Leader of the Safety Plans
Living healthy
Explorer of caves and trails

Miracle, she is!
Ever a champion! 
Yearns to learn new things
Ever the creative spirit and
Reading Enthusiast
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January Open Write – and a Slice of Life on Two Kings

Today is the fourth day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. Please join us! Here is the direct link, where you can read about today’s host, Glenda Funk of Idaho, and the inspiration she brings in her prompt.

It’s also Tuesday, when Two Writing Teachers invite Slice of Life stories. We’re gearing up for writing every day during the month of March. You can read more about the Slice of Life Challenge and share your own blog and read others here.

Glenda invites us to write poems about women today – empowering women! I recently finished reading On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King, where I learned that, not surprisingly, his wife paved the way to his success – – (and that he believes the road to hell is paved in peppered adverbs). 

The Crown of the King 



what kind of woman 

retrieves wadded papers 

  reclaims the "trash" 

    reads his manuscript 

      redirects his steps



....his catapulting masterpiece 

         .....his claim to fame





Carrie 



the kind of woman 

who is the reason 

    he is who he is 



the kind of woman 

who is the wind 

     beneath the wings 

         of an all-time great 



(because it does take a woman)



Cheers for Tabitha King!
Novelists Stephen and Tabitha King
Special thanks to Two Writing Teachers for giving writers space and voice!
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January 23 Open Write with Barb Edler

Today is the third day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. Please join us! Here is the direct link, where you can read about today’s host, Barb Edler of Iowa, and the inspiration she brings in her prompt: https://www.ethicalela.com/connecting-with-your-inner-self/

Today’s poem is about reflecting on our goals. I think this prompt was designed just for me! I’m reflecting on my goals the last day of each month in the areas of creativity, experience, literature, gratitude, reflection, self-improvement, and spirituality that I spent the first days of the year crafting and describing on my blog. Today, a Haiku is a great way to celebrate the journey:

I'm in No Hurry



praying for answers

wondering about outcomes

I'm in no hurry



seeking my weight range

closet-eating M&Ms

I'm in no hurry



Reading Around the

U.S.A - savoring words

I'm in no hurry



counting my blessings

focusing on gratitude

I'm in no hurry



Route 66 plans

dreams in the making: someday

I'm in no hurry



creative touches

camera-ready journeys

I'm in no hurry



family stories

capturing the past in ink

I'm in no hurry



slowing down the pace

seeing more of it ~ not more

I'm in no hurry
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January 22 Open Write with Glenda Funk

Today is the second day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. Our group currently has two anthologies of our published work, and today there is a third invitation to be part of another collection from the host. Please join us! Here is the direct link, where you can read about one of this month’s hosts, Glenda Funk from Idaho, and the inspiration she brings in her prompt: https://www.ethicalela.com/connecting-with-school-communities-in-the-aftermath-of-shootings-and-lockdowns/

Today’s prompt is to write a poem about the aftermath of school shootings in any form we choose. I chose to blend three chained Haiku poems with an acrostic.

In Despair

In airports, guns banned!
Not in schools - no one searches.
Dear students: we failed! 
Empty nests: hearts grieve
Searching clouds for loved ones’ signs,
Parents pray for peace
As children take flight
Igniting grief eternal
Ripped souls in despair
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January 21 Open Write with Barb Edler

Today is the first day of five days of January’s Open Write at http://www.ethicalela.com. Each month, this writing group gathers to write and give positive feedback to at least three other writers. Please join us! Here is the direct link, where you can read about today’s host, Barb Edler, and the inspiration she brings in her prompt: https://www.ethicalela.com/connecting-with-others-or-things-through-a-personal-letter-poem/

We’re invited today to write Personal Letter poems that capture intimate moments. I think often of our old farm dog Archie, who lived under the porch of the Presbyterian Church over on Pedenville Road in Concord, Georgia and must have always been chased off with a broom by the cleaning crew. He had a dreadful fear every time I swept. In a thunderstorm, he chased a colleague’s car all the way home, looking for shelter from the storm and something to eat. Her twin girls, both veterinarians, nursed him back to health as best they could before their mother called me. This is the perfect dog for you, she urged. We’ve named him R.K. for Roadkill, which is what he’s gonna be if someone doesn’t give him a good home.

And so we brought R.K. to the Johnson Funny Farm, my husband holding him down in the bed of a Ford Ranger pickup truck as I drove us home (in a stick shift for the first time in many years), hurky-jerky all the way here, where we softened R.K. to Archie and came to love a dog who was as close to human as they get.

Good Ol’ Archie

whenever I clean the empty 
hardwood floor space
under the antique oak buffet
~your thunderstorm safe zone~
my heart goes thud-thumpy

I exhale
my eyes close
I think of you,
your eyebrows
raising back and forth
left, right, left…..
looking me full
in the face
searching for love
wanting
needing
my embrace
waiting for my concrete to crumble

this was your favorite game

you wanted love 
more than food

when I let your human eyes
pierce the stoic face 
I’d held as long as I could
and my smile cracked, turned to laughter….


your full goofy body wag 
erupted with joy
slathered me with sugary sweet love kisses
paws on my shoulders

loving me as you did
rescuing me as you did

* * *

and then came that morning. 
you hadn’t moved
I knew before your 
three tail thud-thumps
became my heartbeat

I’ve…….loved…….you

It…….is……time

Help…..me…..cross

thump……thump…..thump

your empty space remains, Good Ol’ Archie

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Mindset Shift

Each day offers its own gift. – Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy

I’m attending a conference in Macon this week for Literacy Leaders in schools across my state of Georgia. As I made the hour-long drive yesterday morning, I prayed (this year’s word – pray) and reflected on last year’s word, which I haven’t abandoned – listen. I often reminded myself last year that somewhere in the day, if I listened closely enough, there would be a golden nugget of wisdom coming my way, and all I had to do was to be ready to catch it.

True to form, it came. We were in a session where similar-sized districts were sharing ideas, and one leader shared the need for a program to address some gaps they were observing in their data, and shared further particulars of the structure of her school system. I’d partly tuned out, replying to a couple of emails, when another voice chimed in during a brief lull.

“Programs are not your fix.”

A pause, and another voice: “That’s right. This will take a mindset shift.”

I’d arrived a few minutes late, so my Back Pew Baptist self was stuck on the front row of the room, and when I peered back over my shoulder to see the reaction, I saw a sea of faces in a moment of wonder. That “aha” moment where a deep truth resonates so powerfully that it can’t stay bottled up inside.

Programs aren’t our fix. We need a mindset shift.

This wasn’t only about education – it was about life. That’s why my Optavia program was successful. It wasn’t entirely the program. It was the mindset, the adoption of an autopilot approach without emotion and excuse. It was Nike’s Just Do It mentality, combined with a program that worked for my busy schedule and that appealed to my forever-needy sweet tooth.

I wondered: how many other things in my life need a mindset shift – – not a program or a package or a set of instructions bottled up like essential oils dropped into a diffuser and plugged in, hoping they’ll work magic? How many things need my heart, mind, and grit as a commitment and not just a sprinkling of fairy dust that I want to believe will make change?

These thoughts are what I’m taking through the day with me as I listen for the next golden nugget of wisdom. These are the places where I find answers to some of my deepest questions ~ in the unexpected moments, from small voices in the back of a room, when I never even asked a question but an answer to one yet unasked finds its way to me. It holds tight to my thoughts, ready for when I need it most. 

Come on over to www.ethicalela.com and join us for our 5-Day January Open Write starting tomorrow!  Our hosts this month are Glenda Funk of Idaho and Barb Edler of Iowa.  They're teaming up on some inspirational writing prompts for us, so I hope to see you there!
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For the Love of Mail

“…your life is short and rare and amazing and miraculous, and you want to do really interesting things and make really interesting things while you’re still here.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic

Whenever I travel, I carry a Ziploc bag filled with pre-addressed mailing labels and postcard stamps. I want my grandchildren to experience the thrill of excitement I felt when I received mail as a child.

I think my passion was born when in fifth grade I wrote to every capital city’s Chamber of Commerce requesting brochures on the state for a school project on the United States, back in the days long before such a request would be met with a reference to a website. I smiled and skipped back inside from the mailbox with letters most days during the project time, ready to read about the states and cut and paste information from the brochures onto the notebook paper in my presentation book. I’d enjoyed the learning, and out of it was born a love of mail that arrives in envelopes, with stamps in the upper right hand corner and my name on the front. I don’t remember every state’s bird or tree or motto, but I do remember that when I needed resources, there were places to look and people to ask. I learned something about being resourceful – about how letters requesting information glean a response.

And that is why I take every opportunity to send a quick card, whether I’m five hours from home or one hour. My grandchildren may not fully appreciate all of the cards now, but one day I hope they will look back and realize that their Nana always wanted them to see the world and to enjoy the ride!

Happy travels!

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Reflections on a Slice of Pumpkin Bread with Coffee

“Today, make discovering those joyful simplicities that bring you personal comfort and a sense of well-being one of your highest priorities.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach, Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy

Pumpkin Bread from Christmas 2022

At my bridal shower in 1985 given by the ladies of First Baptist Church of St. Simons Island, Georgia, I received a lot of cookbooks and tried-and-true recipe cards. The ladies in that church who had practically helped raise me were tremendous cooks, and I was over-the-moon thrilled to have a coveted collection of the recipes that gave me an inkling of hope of being like them in the kitchen.

Over the years, from the beginning of my young married life through raising children and even through divorce and remarriage, one recipe was an instant hit and remains a family favorite through it all. I make it only during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays to keep it sacred and anticipated. When I visited one of our daughters who lives 6 hours away for Christmas 2022, she had already told many of her friends, “I hope my mom brings her pumpkin bread.” When she introduced me to them, I wasn’t surprised to hear that my pumpkin bread reputation had preceded me!

Times shared together when everyone has gathered during the carefree, unrushed holidays around a table or in small sitting areas with coffee and conversation, where candles flicker and the clinking of forks on tiny plates adds to the joy of togetherness against the backdrop of a football game on TV, where children play games and watch a parade, where family news is being shared and good books are being discussed and political views are not~ ~ ~ that’s pumpkin bread season. For anyone who pursues the Danish concept of hygge, pumpkin bread is at the top of the list. It works its comforting magic and hits the spot!

Today, I share the recipe for the pumpkin bread that has been our tradition for nearly 40 years. I’ll also add that it freezes well. Sometimes I split the loaf into two large loaves, but sometimes I make mini loaves so that my husband can take one to work for breakfast each day throughout the week. I fill pans about 2/3 full so that it gives room to rise, and I adjust my baking times for size. When there is one tiny bit of uncooked dough in the top of the rise, I remove it from the oven and allow it to finish cooking in its own heat during the cooling process. If freezing, I wrap in foil and place in a Ziploc bag once cooled.

Recipe for Pumpkin Bread II from the cookbook Frederica Fare:

One of my daughters likes her pumpkin bread with whipped cream cheese spread between two slices.