This is a time of reorienting after the loss of my father on Friday, June 13. He was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis four years ago, and with both prostate and colon cancers in the past year. He began to suffer from SVTs, a heart arrhythmia that mimics a heart attack, because of the cardiopulmonary functions working in tandem with lack of oxygen from the lungs to the heart. In other words, the lungs weakened too much to support the heart, and with the chemo cocktail on his frailty, he didn’t have anything to fight with as he reflected on his choice.
These past three weeks have been a blur, since things took a steep nose dive the Tuesday after Memorial Day. He was transported by ambulance to the hospital, on to a rehab center, back to the hospital, back to the rehab center, and back to the hospital and then a hospice facility. He never returned home, his beloved dog Kona left there to wonder what happened to him. Within hours of his first ambulance ride, one of his many dog park friends came to get Kona and will keep her as her own, assuring both Dad and us that as long as she has Kona, she will have a part of Dad; we’ve arranged for Kona to see his body at the funeral home so that she understands he did not abandon her by choice. The blanket provided by hospice covering Dad during his ride to the funeral home was not laundered at my brother’s and my request – – this will be a gift for Kona. We hope it holds Dad’s scent for her forever.
These weeks have been filled with frustration, sorrow, laughter, denial, peace, acceptance, silence, noise, unforgettable moments, and hundreds of friends and family reaching out from across the miles to get the daily update and express their condolences. His grandchildren and great grandchildren who had traveled from as far away as Nevada to say goodbye arrived in intervals on Friday, just a few hours too late – – but we know Dad left on his own terms, and we believe he did so to keep their memories of him as they knew him in healthier days. Sunday was our first Father’s Day without our patriarch.
And now, our father – pastor, friend, brother, and legend – has reunited with our mother in heaven. We celebrate them and know they are at peace, and we lay him to rest on Saturday in Christ Church Cemetery on St. Simons Island right next to her, where she has been waiting since December 2015. So many stories have been lived and shared over these past few weeks, and there will be so many more as we navigate the days ahead – – stories and events that Dad continually referred to as the serendipitous steering currents of the spirit. His service will be live streamed on St. Simons Island First Baptist Church Youtube channel at 1:00 Saturday, June 21 for any of his friends who are reading and would like to attend virtually.
serendipitous
steering currents, Dad reminds,
are of the spirit
We anticipate and welcome these moments, and we’re on the lookout for every sign and every miracle that we know will be divinely channeled our way from Heaven.
Goodbye, Dad. Until we meet again.
Common Threads 
Oh Kim! I am so sorry for your loss and your father’s suffering. He is indeed at and peace beside your mom. May your memories comfort you and your family. I’ve been to Saint Simon’s Island and that church. They are in a beautiful place of rest.
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Thank you, Joanne. I appreciate your kind words. Have you read The Beloved Invader by Eugenia Price? It will make you want to visit Christ Church Cemetery all over again after you read the epilogue about the order of a set of graves out there. Again, thank you so much.
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Kim, I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your father. As you explained so eloquently, he had a lot of bricks thrown his way in this last year or so and now, he has found peace from his suffering. I pray you and your family find comfort in each other and your memories as you navigate your grief and celebrate his life.
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Thank you, Anita. It’s bittersweet for sure, knowing the peace now after all the suffering. I appreciate your kind tenderness in your words as we grieve.
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Oh, Kim, I had no idea your father passed away. My deepest sympathies to you and your loved ones. I love your poem and the idea of looking for signs. You’ll find them everywhere, I am sure. Please know that you are in my prayers! Sending healing vibes and hugs, dear friend!
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Barb, a strange feeling came over me about three weeks ago, and I had the urge to write ahead. Normally, I would have written through the pain – – but once I got here, I understood – – everything moved fast and slow all at the same time, and I would have been unable to wrap my brain around what to do with a pen and a piece of paper. I’m back into some sense of normal space now – – and so thankful for your taking the time to send vibes and hugs. This is what I was doing the last time our small writing group met and I could not be there……and I missed you all so much.
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We missed you, too! Take care of yourself! Losing your parents changes so many family dynamics and, of course, they will both always be missed. Hoping to send a card soon and hope the service is lovely on Saturday. Love you! Barb
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Kim,
I am so sorry for your loss and the gaping hole in your heart you must be feeling right now. I did not realize your dad had passed until reading their touching tribute. I know the stories are a balm for your grief and that you and your family had been preparing g for this inevitable journey beyond our earthly home, but I also know the grief runs deep. Clearly your father touched many lives and offered wisdom that will comfort you. Kona, too, grieves, and the part of this post about the blanket and Kona’s new home is so very touching. Sending you lots of love and hugs from the humans and the fur babies here. I love you, dear friend.
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Thank you so much, Glenda. As I write this, my brother is walking in with Dad’s dog to the funeral home so that she can see what happened and hopefully understand. I don’t know what all a dog does or does not know, but I do know that Kona is no ordinary dog. She is part angel. Thank you for being there over these past months as we have been on this journey with Dad. I look forward to meeting in our small group again soon. My writing friends are a stabilizing force in my life, and you are one of the strongest. I love you, friend.
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Aw, Kim, you have been through a whirlwind these last few weeks. I hate to say that I envy you being on the other side. My mother is still fighting with only a wisp of a body left. I’ve been home since Saturday. I’m glad you were able to gather as a whole family, celebrating your father’s life and holding each other in love.
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Margaret, I will pray for a peaceful passage from this life into the eternal one for your mother. The weeks have been challenging, but at the same time I would not trade them – – they gave us a time as a family to say some things that needed to be said. There is hurt and there is healing, but in the end nothing matters but the peace and memories – – and the assurance of eternity. I will be calling shortly. You mean so much to me and have been a part of this journey with me, and I hold you in my embrace of gratitude and love today.
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I love this, Kim, and I love you.
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Janette, thank you so much for your sweet comment – – I love you too, and I appreciate your friendship. Thank you for being there and sharing stories with me!
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Kim, my heart aches for you in this loss. I love the care you’ve taken for Kona and the neighbor who stepped in to provide her new home. And your father’s words framed in haiku are beautiful. I’m saving this phrase and haiku in my book of wisdom from fellow bloggers. May you feel the love and grace of God supporting you as you navigate the days and weeks ahead. Losing your last parent is hard. I will be lifting you and your family up in prayer.
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Oh, Ramona, thank you for sharing this with me. Prayer is the best gift of all, and Lord knows we need them so much in these days of loss. I am grateful for Dad’s dog park friends – – they sustained him over these last few months in big ways. Thanks again for reaching out.
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