Today at http://www.ethicalela.com, our host is Glenda Funk of Idaho, who inspires us to write poems about embarrassing times in our lives. You can read her full prompt and the poems of others here. (I predict this will be a great day to step in for a visit).
50 Shades of Red
back in the day
before adhesive strips
held pads in place
there were other ways ~
namely, the Beltx Santy Panty
(now in the National Museum of American History)
Luxury Spandex
cool, comfortable
with Sta-Put Crotch
to eliminate all loops and clasps
unconditionally guaranteed
for those
monthly “off days”
let me tell you something
lean in and listen up ~
my first “off day” still haunts me
gives me shivers
it happened in the St. Simons Drugstore
in the village
in 1977 when I was 11, shortly
after reading Are You There, God?
It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
this was not the way it was
supposed to go down
my mother took me in
to find products
the very day I crossed the
threshold into womanhood
she sought a treasure
promising
* nary a telltale budge
* never a slip
* not a whisper of odor
as she quietly perused the shelves
in the crowded store
I’d ducked to the makeup aisle
many shades of red on the shelves
all around me ~ lipstick, blush, nail polish ~
and I, too, was now red all over
above and below my waist
the most embarrassing day of my life
and Griffin from my class
was there with his mother, too,
waiting on his medicine
when to my absolute horror
my mother caught sight of
the pharmacist
busy at work
while Griffin and his mother
and the rest of the crowd
stood watching, waiting
their names to be called
my own mother boldly stepped forward
inquiring for all to hear
making no secret of any of this
Do you have any of those
Santy Panty things?
My mother.
My mother.
My mother.
All eyes moved from
the pharmacist
to her
to me.
I cringed.
I saw Griffin giggle.
I bled out most of my soul
that day in the drugstore
as my mother handed me
a bag with three boxes of
Santy Panty things,
explaining for all to hear
that they were to be washed
by hand in the sink
as Griffin turned
red with full laughter
as we exited the store
Common Threads 
Glenda, I believe every woman who has ever been a teen (all of us) have a story like this. The way you told it is both hilarious and totally shocking that your mother would do this. My mother didn’t do much to prepare me. I remember being taught by a friend how to use a tampon. I do love a good shout out to Are You There, God, It’s Me, Margaret. My favorite book with the character who has my name. That book changed so many girls’ lives with its honesty about growing up.
In sixth grade,
when all the rage was “snapping bras”,
I finally got the nerve
to ask Mom for a bra.
With not even a nub in sight,
she gave in, bought me a set of t-shirt bras.
“These will be more comfortable.”
What she didn’t understand
was the band
had no snap.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, my! I must’ve still been half asleep when I wrote my poem on your post. Sorry about that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Margaret, you must have loved having that name growing up. We all wanted to be Margaret Simon. I love your poem – the snapping bras were all the rage. I remember them and I, too, had the tshirt bras from Belk.
They were Bugoff brand and they did not snap either. It’s neat what sticks in our minds all these years later. I can’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday, but I remember the brand of bra I wore in the 1970s! These are fun and cringeworthy memories all at once! You can call me Glenda anytime! I call the class roll when
The kids are together –
I can’t keep anybody straight anymore!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve always liked my name because it was my grandmother’s name, but I didn’t get Simon until I got married. I’d forgotten the character’s last name until it came up when the movie came out.
LikeLike