“Please, Don’t Squeeze…”
I’d had a crush on you
since high school
my parents tried
to nip it in the bud
but it couldn’t be squelched
since high school
my parents tried
to nip it in the bud
but it couldn’t be squelched
I hugged my pillow
to sleep
pretending it was you
to sleep
pretending it was you
when you squeezed my hand
on our first date
I knew you were
the one for me
on our first date
I knew you were
the one for me
when you fixed my hamburger
gently squeezing
the mustard and ketchup
onto my buns
I had to fan
the flames of desire
gently squeezing
the mustard and ketchup
onto my buns
I had to fan
the flames of desire
you had a good grip on life
sold your ball python
to buy me a ring
sold your ball python
to buy me a ring
we got hitched
managed to squeak by
even in our poorest days
managed to squeak by
even in our poorest days
before long
little Whipples came along
You cheered me on-
“PUSH!”
little Whipples came along
You cheered me on-
“PUSH!”
I showed you how
to swaddle babies
to swaddle babies
you were
a wonderful dad
always
molding Play-Doh
squeezing fresh OJ
showing proper toothpaste dispensing
winning the
Whipple Reunion award
for best hugs
a wonderful dad
always
molding Play-Doh
squeezing fresh OJ
showing proper toothpaste dispensing
winning the
Whipple Reunion award
for best hugs
I noticed something
you had a particular skill for the job that made you famous
the rest is history
I, Charmin Whipple
will always
be your main squeeze
I’ve got your back
will always
be your main squeeze
I’ve got your back
The end
-Kim Johnson
Common Threads 