Today at http://www.ethicalela.com, our host is Glenda Funk of Idaho, who inspires us to write poems about embarrassing times in our lives. You can read her full prompt and the poems of others here. (I predict this will be a great day to step in for a visit).
50 Shades of Red
back in the day
before adhesive strips
held pads in place
there were other ways ~
namely, the Beltx Santy Panty
(now in the National Museum of American History)
Luxury Spandex
cool, comfortable
with Sta-Put Crotch
to eliminate all loops and clasps
unconditionally guaranteed
for those
monthly “off days”
let me tell you something
lean in and listen up ~
my first “off day” still haunts me
gives me shivers
it happened in the St. Simons Drugstore
in the village
in 1977 when I was 11, shortly
after reading Are You There, God?
It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
this was not the way it was
supposed to go down
my mother took me in
to find products
the very day I crossed the
threshold into womanhood
she sought a treasure
promising
* nary a telltale budge
* never a slip
* not a whisper of odor
as she quietly perused the shelves
in the crowded store
I’d ducked to the makeup aisle
many shades of red on the shelves
all around me ~ lipstick, blush, nail polish ~
and I, too, was now red all over
above and below my waist
the most embarrassing day of my life
and Griffin from my class
was there with his mother, too,
waiting on his medicine
when to my absolute horror
my mother caught sight of
the pharmacist
busy at work
while Griffin and his mother
and the rest of the crowd
stood watching, waiting
their names to be called
my own mother boldly stepped forward
inquiring for all to hear
making no secret of any of this
Do you have any of those
Santy Panty things?
My mother.
My mother.
My mother.
All eyes moved from
the pharmacist
to her
to me.
I cringed.
I saw Griffin giggle.
I bled out most of my soul
that day in the drugstore
as my mother handed me
a bag with three boxes of
Santy Panty things,
explaining for all to hear
that they were to be washed
by hand in the sink
as Griffin turned
red with full laughter
as we exited the store





