A Calm Christmas: Heart and Hearth

Photo by Vlad Vasnetsov on Pexels.com

This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 5, she considers reflecting on where the heart is and what the heart needs in celebrating. She encourages us to contemplate the gatherings with a mindful spirit for how we spend time and what we do with others to celebrate. She reminds us in Chapter 5 that “time-honored traditions are only worth maintaining if they honor your time and bring you pleasure.”

This may be my favorite chapter yet. Kempton opens with a reflection of a Christmas Day moment from her teenage years, providing a snapshot frozen in time to show her grandmother, her parents, her siblings, and herself gathered in the midst of Christmas dinner. She illustrates it so well, it’s reminiscent of a Hallmark ad or a Publix commercial. And then comes the sobering reminder: things will not always be this way.

She redefines what a calm Christmas means: A calm Christmas does not have to be a small Christmas or even a quiet Christmas. Rather, it is one where you remove your own stressors, let go of perfection, and focus on what really matters to you. She then takes us through a process of re-imagining how we gather, how we gift, and how we gambol.

Each year, my father has traditionally given me a box of books. He’s a book collector, so he thinks mindfully about what I will love. He knows my unique and quirky reading personality and what will be meaningful for me. Among my treasures throughout the years are a first edition copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, signed by Harper Lee herself; a very old copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck; and an assortment of Gladys Tabor books, including Stillmeadow Sampler, Stillmeadow Calendar, and Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge, three of my absolute favorites. Oh, the joy they bring to me as I sit and read and re-read and re-read again. These gifts are mindful, meaningful, and they matter – the hallmarks of great gifting.

Most of my writing circle of friends know that my father is undergoing chemotherapy for colorectal cancer. It leaves him fatigued and weak, so we have decided to postpone our gatherings this year to allow him to rest and to minimize his exposure to large numbers of people who bring risk of germs to him in his state of weakened immunity. We won’t gather until later in January, and the gathering will be simple when it happens – a few hours, a meal, and a time of reflection and togetherness.

Meanwhile, to keep Dad’s spirit of Christmas book gifting alive and well, my brother and I found the perfect gift for him. It’s a Simplay 3 Little Free Library that he can put on the corner of his yard at the intersection on the south end of St. Simons Island, Georgia. Even though he may not be able to share books with me on Christmas as he has done in the past, he can certainly find the joy in sharing books with others this Christmas season and feel the warmth of spirit as he watches folks consider the collection of books he curates to go inside. He has always had a mountain of books to pass along, and while some are collectible, others are modern bestsellers.

Book gifting is a tradition that matters, and my brother and I know all too well the joy our dad finds in sharing his deep love of reading. Books make a difference in how we see the world, and Dad is a perfect reader/book matchmaker. We have been matched! We can’t wait to see the next great matches he makes!

The Power of Connection in a Slice of Life Neighborhood- Slice of Life Challenge Day 22, Stafford Challenge Day 66

Special Thanks to Two Writing Teachers
The windows should all be open, but Gemini didn’t listen.

A week ago, Lainie Levin posted an announcement that I wish could be reposted every day. Below, she states that engaging with others is the single most powerful thing that builds community during this challenge.

I emailed her immediately to ask if I could repost this announcement. She readily agreed.

Which brings me to a connection that stopped me in my tracks. I was having a conversation with the Poetry Fox as we were working out the details of his visit to Georgia from North Carolina. I asked him to describe what his events look like, and he told me that he sits at his typewriter and writes on-demand poetry for people who give him a word. He said, “And really, it’s not even about the poem. It’s about the connections I make and the people I get to meet. Those moments of connecting with someone are what it’s all about.”

I’ve thought about this again and again as I have returned to the conversation and the blog announcement and reflected on the power of connection. This community would be nothing without it. I realize that when I wake up during March and get to open the blogging windows and drink my coffee with an entire community and we’re all talking to each other about the slices of our lives and what is happening, there is power in these moments. We may all be tired and worn thin some days, but I know things about you – the people in my community – and I know many of your family members and how you spend time.

I know Paul likes to cook and actually likes Brussels sprouts (I thought I was the only one), Glenda likes to travel and has a voracious appetite for adventure (and will be having quite an adventure today – – I won’t spoil her surprise, but be on the lookout for something uniquely and colorfully …..uplifting)! Denise hikes in the desert and has a stargazer window in her house, Fran watches birds and is teaching her little granddaughters to love them too, Maureen also has two young granddaughters who love music and art and the outdoors, Peter is beginning to grieve the loss of a loved one and many of us are keeping his family close in our thoughts, Barb loves poetry slams and art exhibits and spending time outdoors, Sally checks in on her mom and has a granddaughter with new shoes, Margaret lives on the bayou and has the cutest ducks that jump into the water on jump day, and Joanne loves flowers and gardening. And I’m getting to know each of you, too!

Even though we all live in different places across the nation and beyond, I imagine a high rise brick apartment building where we’re all sitting in an open window chatting, waving, greeting each other at the start of the day, and smiling, rather like we might look from windows on the cover of the New Yorker if someone illustrated all of us in one drawing. We’d see floral window boxes for the green thumbs, cats and dogs with the animal lovers, and food cooking on the stoves of the culinary artists. We’d see children playing with grandmothers and, in a Paul Fleishman Seedfolks-ish kind of way, we’d all be connecting, contributing in beautiful ways to the community vegetable garden and sharing what we have to share, helping as we can, reaching out as we have needs that others can help meet.

Connection. Conversation. Sharing. Caring, Responding in kindness. Giving. Living.

Because that’s what community and connection are all about, and it’s also what writing is about – – reaching the next person. Not the word choice, not the capitalization of proper nouns, and not the run-on sentences (which, like Brussels sprouts, I love, by the way).

Thank you for these marathon days in March where we build our own neighborhood, and the Tuesdays throughout the year where we keep in touch! And to the owners of the Slice of Life apartment building for letting us move in for a month, rent-free, a huge debt of gratitude is owed for all of your hard work in keeping the lights on and the water running.

You each make a difference!

Slice of Life Challenge 

Slice of Life Challenge
community connections:
open your windows!

pour a cup of tea
share family recipes
show trip photographs

compare hobby notes
reveal hopes and dreams
share fears and shed tears

open your windows!
connect with fellow writers
plant seeds. water them.

This Photo Wants to Be a Poem

My friend Margaret Simon of Louisiana hosts the weekly Poetry Friday Roundup by posting a photo and inviting writers to compose a poem inspired by the photo. Last week, she visited the North Georgia mountains with her family as a Christmas gift to her children and their families, and she posted her cherished moments of making memories with them. She invites us this week to write a poem about this photo of her mountain house. 

Margaret has been using the elfchen form, also called an elevenie, in which the lines fall into the sequence of 1 word, 2 words, 3 words, 4 words, and concludes in summary fashion with 1 word that ties it together. She will announce her One Little Word tomorrow, and hints that it may be the last line in her own poem (Connection), so I’m giving an enthusiastic nod to her choice by using a form of connection as the last word in my own poem. You can read her post here, along with other poems that were written about the photo, and her picture that inspires her poem (and others) is below:

Mountain House photo by Margaret Simon

Presence

unhindered

time spent

unhurried memory making

letting presence be presents

connecting

Try an elfchen! These are fun to write, and what a fabulous way to preserve memories – using photos and short forms of poems. I like the way just a few words can encapsulate an entire experience and bring all the memories and good times rushing back. 

A special thanks to Margaret Simon for inspiring my writing today. Some of my greatest blessings are my writing community friends, who encourage and inspire me to be better. 

Remembering, Sharing, Meditating on the Past: My 2023 Reflection Goals

Dad shares 1950s football stories with Aidan as they play ball together, December 2023

In 2013, I abandoned the notion of New Year’s Resolutions when I realized that not one resolution I had ever made survived more than a few weeks. Instead, I began listing goals for the year in different areas and taking time to reflect each week or so to update what I had done in those areas. It began in the NOTES section on my phone. Today, I reflect back to 2013 and the goals I established. I copied and pasted the first two of my ten goals from that year:

2013 Goals

Physical Goal #1: lose 50 pounds in 5 months. 

Action Plan: join Weight Watchers for diet and add exercise plan of walking. Seek exercise bike in March when everyone else gives up and sells them. Drink only water in restaurants. 

I need to make myself a countdown reward system to Marshall and Selena's wedding in May.

1/3/13. * I began counting points on January 2 for Weight Watchers. I weighed on day 1 to mark my starting point. 

1/15/13 I am down 13 pounds from January 1. I can lose 37 pounds by the wedding day. 

1/21/13 now sixteen pounds down and I can lose 34 pounds by May 25! 

2/7/13 now down 22 pounds and I can lose 28 pounds by May 25!

3/5/13 down 23 pounds and I can lose 28 pounds by May 25!

7/25/13 back at it. Up ten from last weigh, but down 14 from start of year! Brushing off and getting back in the groove....starting my point counting system again today. 

Educational goal #2: enter a doctoral program in fall 2013. 

Action plan: research programs in the first quarter of the year and measure against Georgia PSC requirements. Take GRE in February or March. Apply to schools in March.  Make decisions in May or June. Enter a program in the summer or fall. 

* Beth gave me some research on Univ of Florida to be considered

I am rethinking Walden, since I already have the first course completed there but had to stop for divorce.

1/18/2013 I completed the application to Walden, faxed my certificate, emailed my résumé and requested my transcript from University of West Georgia. One school down. I need to work on financial aid. 

1/24/13 I submitted FAFSA and requested pin. 

1/29/13 I am accepted back and they will honor my existing credit. Awaiting financial aid decision.

2/7/13 they will let me resume my program and have me ready to start March 4! Waiting on financial aid information to be processed by Walden. 

3/5/2013 I began my second course in the program officially yesterday. I am on track.

7/25/13 I am a module ahead in my third course in the program. Also registered for my residency in December in Washington, DC. Things are going well and I am enjoying the challenges.

Back to 2023: I look back on these 2013 goals and smile because setting goals, establishing action steps, and adding a measure of accountability actually works – it’s the recipe for success when there is follow-through and intention. Today’s banner picture was taken at my son’s May 2013 wedding, and while I didn’t reach my goal in time for the wedding, I could at least fit in the dress. In all but one of my ten goal areas of that year, I am doing much better today than I was then. I’m within six pounds of the top of my goal range today, and I earned my Ed.D in Leadership in October 2016.

Being able to reflect not only on one year but across a decade of goals is powerful – I see how dynamics of situations have changed and how there are bumps in the road that at the time seem earth-shattering, but in the grand scheme were simply little speed bumps that slowed me down.

My 2023 Reflection goals include end-of-month consideration and tracking of progress in writing and for the first time ever: sharing my goals and progress with readers on this blog, reflecting on memories, and writing family stories (and getting other family members to do the same so that our stories are preserved for future generations to enjoy). By the end of 2023, I hope to have at least 25 family stories shared on my blog.

Happy weekend! Spend some time reflecting today!

Reflecting on that time in the corn maze with Andrew when we had to use the map to try to get out…………