VerseLove Day 23: Lose, Loss, Lost

Our host today for the 23rd day of VerseLove at http://www.ethicalela.com is Scott McCloskey of Michigan, who inspires us to write poems of loss. You can read his full prompt here.

Enough

here you are, slumped

next to me

in our favorite

chair and a half

your warmth on my hip

resting peacefully

Gabapentin doing its work

for your pain

Thank God your

mouth is on the armrest

with one paw

protecting it

breathing the other way

with breath so bad

it might kill a buzzard

but for your human it’s

the sign of life

of your holding on

and already I know

chances are high that

your teeth and mouth ulcers

and bladder stones

may not be all that is lost

next week

I feel tears welling just

thinking about it

you, our rescue schnauzer

with no known age or past

all things uncertain except

one thing:

we are tenderly and fiercely

bonded, imprinted, paired

as forever buddies

you are here,

you are warm and safe,

and you are loved

in this moment

now

which is

enough

for this hour

my little buddy

when the others are getting

breakfast treats in the kitchen

Fitz stays with me

my little buddy

when my husband

leans in to kiss me

goodbye on his early

to work days

Fitz emerges from the

covers with warning

snaps ~ firm reminders

of who is who

when it comes to me

he goes where I go

sits where I sit

sleeps where I sleep

thinks where I think

eats where I eat

and is our only rescue

who has never bitten me

my little buddy

he snuggles me

when I read or watch tv

and catches popcorn mid-air

and gazes into my eyes

like I’m his whole world

my little buddy

my soul dog

my Fitzie

Fitz with his favorite toy, his squeaky turtle

My Soul Dog Has Surgery Today

Fitz; “Wait, what? Why am I here? I know this place. I don’t like this place.”

CUPS Disease has claimed my dog’s spirit. Canine Ulcerative Periodontal Disease produces painful, life-altering mouth ulcers caused by a reaction to the plaque buildup on a dog’s teeth.

For several months now, Fitz has taken to the underbed and doesn’t want to come out and live life.

This four-legged son of ours is no stranger to medical conditions, either. When we rescued him, he was recovering from a badly broken back leg, and later developed a growth on his back that was a benign tumor – which was surgically removed. He had such bad breath (his top end smelled worse than his bottom end) that when we took him for a dental cleaning, the veterinarian ended up removing eleven rotten teeth. Our mission was to love him and give him the best possible life, so as part of our commitment to treating our animals like family, we have spent a small fortune keeping him healthy.

This morning, I took my soul dog to have his canines removed, which will help reduce the contact between gums and teeth, thus reducing the intensity of the ulcers that he will develop. There is no cure for CUPS Disease, but there are ways of managing the symptoms, and removal of teeth is one.

On our way to the vet this morning, we had a heart-to-heart talk. Fitz made it clear that he wants no part of any of this, but I’m pretty sure I convinced him that it is the right choice, and equally sure that once he feels better in a couple of weeks, he will forgive me for all I have put him through today. I’m thinking I’ll coax forgiveness while he is still on medicine and has no idea what he is saying.

I could tell when I handed him off to the veterinary technician, Fitz was not happy. Just look at that face!

This is my boy who lets NO ONE kiss his mama, who is a fierce and mighty lizard hunter who brings down trophy lizards from the brick walls outside, and who chases off all the deer and wildlife so that they pose no threat to his family. The dog who snaps at his brothers for barking at “his” deer, because it’s “his” job to keep us all safe – and he puts them in their place. The dog who sleeps right next to me so that no night ghouls or goblins or ghosts would even think about coming close to me.

And now this.

I’m clearly in the doghouse.