Tag: Santy Panty

back in the day

before adhesive strips

held pads in place

there were other ways ~

namely, the Beltx Santy Panty

(now in the National Museum of American History)

Luxury Spandex

cool, comfortable

with Sta-Put Crotch

to eliminate all loops and clasps

unconditionally guaranteed

for those

monthly “off days”

let me tell you something

lean in and listen up ~

my first “off day” still haunts me

gives me shivers

it happened in the St. Simons Drugstore

in the village

in 1977 when I was 11, shortly

after reading Are You There, God?

It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume

this was not the way it was

supposed to go down

my mother took me in

to find products

the very day I crossed the

threshold into womanhood

she sought a treasure

promising

* nary a telltale budge

* never a slip

* not a whisper of odor

as she quietly perused the shelves

in the crowded store

I’d ducked to the makeup aisle

many shades of red on the shelves

all around me ~ lipstick, blush, nail polish ~

and I, too, was now red all over

above and below my waist

the most embarrassing day of my life

and Griffin from my class

was there with his mother, too,

waiting on his medicine

when to my absolute horror

my mother caught sight of

the pharmacist

busy at work

while Griffin and his mother

and the rest of the crowd

stood watching, waiting

their names to be called

my own mother boldly stepped forward

inquiring for all to hear

making no secret of any of this

Do you have any of those

Santy Panty things?

My mother.

My mother.

My mother.

All eyes moved from

the pharmacist

to her

to me.

I cringed.

I saw Griffin giggle.

I bled out most of my soul

that day in the drugstore

as my mother handed me

a bag with three boxes of

Santy Panty things,

explaining for all to hear

that they were to be washed

by hand in the sink

as Griffin turned

red with full laughter

as we exited the store