Calm Christmas: Reflecting on the Holidays

Photo by Ioana Motoc on Pexels.com

This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2019), and in Chapter 8, she presents ways to reflect on the holidays and to take stock in considering ways to grow through the coming year as we count our blessings.

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin tugs at me each year in January. It’s the ultimate book on how to take a year and be productive while seeking happiness by creating order in the areas where we can rein in some disarray by creating goals and eliminating what we we no longer use or need. Kempton provides a similar structure in this chapter – – a reflection table to take stock of areas needing improvement and to create a plan to address them through the year by mapping the year, reflecting, and letting go of things we need to release in order to move forward. It’s a way of establishing purpose and achieving goals with a monthly emphasis to avoid feeling a sense of overwhelming defeat by looking at all the things that need to be done. These authors break down tasks into manageable steps.

She begins by inviting readers to draw a table in a notebook, beginning with the top row, with columns that begin with the word theme and are followed by each month of the year from January to December. The left columns are labeled home, work, change, growth, ups, and downs. This takes time reflecting to consider the milestones and major events in these areas – and should be brief.

Next, couples or individuals can add some short notes about change and growth, along with ups and downs that may or may not be related to those areas of home and work. In the next step, where the real thought comes into play, the table makes it easier to notice the patterns of change and their effects. Readers can answer questions related to dreams and practical things, and also can consider things that they may need to let go in order to move forward with a better mindset. This enables clear goal-setting and helps achieve a sense of purpose and mission.

And goals, throughout my life, have proven more successful than resolutions. The clear focus and the way that a goal offers incremental steps in an overall process is far more effective in shaping change than one pop of a resolution ultimatum in January. I need a year to accomplish most of the tasks I set out to do as I look at the year ahead. It takes planning to be successful. It takes forethought and intentionality to create conditions that bring happiness and peace.

My plan for the week between Christmas and New Year’s is to return to Chapter 8 with the table. I want to invite my spouse, too, to be a part of the shared goals so that we work together toward a common vision for the coming year.

For today, though, it’s all about the moment of getting to the end of the work day and the beginning of the holiday break. There are some days that have ONE GOAL, and surviving the last day of school before Christmas break is one of them!

The table as it appears on my Kindle (the top row is on the previous page and contains the first months of the year).

Remembering, Sharing, Meditating on the Past: My 2023 Reflection Goals

Dad shares 1950s football stories with Aidan as they play ball together, December 2023

In 2013, I abandoned the notion of New Year’s Resolutions when I realized that not one resolution I had ever made survived more than a few weeks. Instead, I began listing goals for the year in different areas and taking time to reflect each week or so to update what I had done in those areas. It began in the NOTES section on my phone. Today, I reflect back to 2013 and the goals I established. I copied and pasted the first two of my ten goals from that year:

2013 Goals

Physical Goal #1: lose 50 pounds in 5 months. 

Action Plan: join Weight Watchers for diet and add exercise plan of walking. Seek exercise bike in March when everyone else gives up and sells them. Drink only water in restaurants. 

I need to make myself a countdown reward system to Marshall and Selena's wedding in May.

1/3/13. * I began counting points on January 2 for Weight Watchers. I weighed on day 1 to mark my starting point. 

1/15/13 I am down 13 pounds from January 1. I can lose 37 pounds by the wedding day. 

1/21/13 now sixteen pounds down and I can lose 34 pounds by May 25! 

2/7/13 now down 22 pounds and I can lose 28 pounds by May 25!

3/5/13 down 23 pounds and I can lose 28 pounds by May 25!

7/25/13 back at it. Up ten from last weigh, but down 14 from start of year! Brushing off and getting back in the groove....starting my point counting system again today. 

Educational goal #2: enter a doctoral program in fall 2013. 

Action plan: research programs in the first quarter of the year and measure against Georgia PSC requirements. Take GRE in February or March. Apply to schools in March.  Make decisions in May or June. Enter a program in the summer or fall. 

* Beth gave me some research on Univ of Florida to be considered

I am rethinking Walden, since I already have the first course completed there but had to stop for divorce.

1/18/2013 I completed the application to Walden, faxed my certificate, emailed my résumé and requested my transcript from University of West Georgia. One school down. I need to work on financial aid. 

1/24/13 I submitted FAFSA and requested pin. 

1/29/13 I am accepted back and they will honor my existing credit. Awaiting financial aid decision.

2/7/13 they will let me resume my program and have me ready to start March 4! Waiting on financial aid information to be processed by Walden. 

3/5/2013 I began my second course in the program officially yesterday. I am on track.

7/25/13 I am a module ahead in my third course in the program. Also registered for my residency in December in Washington, DC. Things are going well and I am enjoying the challenges.

Back to 2023: I look back on these 2013 goals and smile because setting goals, establishing action steps, and adding a measure of accountability actually works – it’s the recipe for success when there is follow-through and intention. Today’s banner picture was taken at my son’s May 2013 wedding, and while I didn’t reach my goal in time for the wedding, I could at least fit in the dress. In all but one of my ten goal areas of that year, I am doing much better today than I was then. I’m within six pounds of the top of my goal range today, and I earned my Ed.D in Leadership in October 2016.

Being able to reflect not only on one year but across a decade of goals is powerful – I see how dynamics of situations have changed and how there are bumps in the road that at the time seem earth-shattering, but in the grand scheme were simply little speed bumps that slowed me down.

My 2023 Reflection goals include end-of-month consideration and tracking of progress in writing and for the first time ever: sharing my goals and progress with readers on this blog, reflecting on memories, and writing family stories (and getting other family members to do the same so that our stories are preserved for future generations to enjoy). By the end of 2023, I hope to have at least 25 family stories shared on my blog.

Happy weekend! Spend some time reflecting today!

Reflecting on that time in the corn maze with Andrew when we had to use the map to try to get out…………