Patchwork Prose and Verse
Amber from Oklahoma is our host today for the fourth day of the February Open Write. She inspires us to write observational haikus, just as the main character in Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo does. You can read Amber’s full prompt and the poems of others here.
life rhythms in taps
fingers counting syllables
taking it all in
making sense this way
of all that’s illogical
poems can do that
This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 4 which begins Part 2, she presents ways to consider mindful giving as we celebrate during Christmas.
Kempson says, “Mindful giving comes down to three questions: whether to give, what to give, and how to give.” She goes on to explain that sometimes, the best gift of all is the gift of nothing (there is a child’s picture book title by that name) – that the social contract of giving is often felt most strongly this time of year when the release is there to simply forego gifting. In fact, she provides a statistic that 60 million gifts in 2018 in the UK were unwanted, according to one study, and that another survey found that six out of every ten gifts given to a sample of 2,000 adults were unwanted. Before giving, she offers 3 questions to guide the gifting: is it mindful, is it meaningful, and is it memorable?
Our office holds a gift exchange, and while it’s fun, I’d lay a wager that the numbered gifts fall into the statistics above. For this occasion, I look at the dollar value and either go with wrapped cash or a gift card from a certain huge retailer named after a river in South America. Everyone participating seems to like this option so they can either use it to further their own Christmas shopping or personalize a gift for themselves – from someone who doesn’t know any of them well enough to give a one-size-appeals-to-all gift in this eclectic mix of personalities that would satisfy whomever ends up with it. And it works like a charm.
For the smaller department sector, I set out to answer the age-old question about the best gift for all ages. Everyone loves it. Everyone needs it. Everyone uses it. No one expects it.
And I came up with the answer to this universal question by looking deep into my own soul and asking: what does everyone need that everyone probably already has but could use more of, where size, age, gender, religious affiliation, and political persuasion does not matter? And a clear answer rose to the top.
Chapstick.
I ordered three dozen tubes of Candy Cane Chapstick, along with a supply of clip holder sleeves I’d seen on a travel blog recently. The sleeves have a clip that allows users to attach the tube to a lanyard or a purse loop or backpack strap so that the tubes don’t end up in pockets, either lost through holes, melting with body temperature – or worse, going through the washer and dryer and staining clothes with petroleum spots like I’ve done so many times.
I grabbed a tabletop tree from Hobby Lobby and festooned the tree with the best guard against bitter winter wind that exists – this universal tiny tube of lip bliss. And here is what I discovered: you can’t go wrong with a candy cane Chapstick tree. It’s mindful, meaningful, and (hopefully) memorable – at least for a season.
Even with all of the thanks and appreciative conversations with people asking for the links to be able to re-create the idea at their family gatherings this year, the thrill of giving something you know people both need and want far outweighs the joy of receiving. It’s the greatest feeling in the world!
This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2019), and in Chapter 1, Kempton presents The Five Stories of Christmas that focus on faith, magic, connection, abundance, and heritage. Today, my thoughts center on abundance.
Kempson inspires readers to reflect on this:
What elements of the more commercial side of Christmas do you recall from your childhood? Which aspects did you find exciting (such as a television ad, the idea of stockings bursting with gifts, writing a letter to Santa, etc?) How do you feel about Christmas shopping?
The first element of the commercial side of Christmas that I remember from childhood is the Sears Christmas Catalog Wish Book. I spent hours turning the pages of the toy section of the catalog as if those were the only toys in the world, all waiting on shelves at the North Pole to be delivered by a magical reindeer-pulled sleigh.
That wish book should not have been any different for me, really. My grandmother worked in downtown Waycross, Georgia in the Sears Catalog Department, so my entire childhood was filled with items from Sears – from housewares to clothing and everything in between. I had Winnie the Pooh on every shirt I owned, along with the matching shorts and pants, and I’m pretty sure that Sears short sets were the precursor to Garanimals. Whatever we may have needed, we mostly got it from Sears with the secret inherited family discount that all came down through Grandma Eunice.
Those catalogs weren’t just toy finders, either. They were the small-town Georgia equivalent of the New York City phonebooks used as booster seats for kids at Christmas dinner. It was the one time of the year we actually ate at the formal dining room table, and the catalog boost did the trick.
Shopping was an altogether different matter. My mother loved shopping at Lenox Square in Rich’s in Atlanta, Georgia the day afterThanksgiving. We spent all day there with my aunt, and it started at 6:00 a.m. to get the bargains, starting in Rich’s – before it became Macy’s. In fact, the men would drop off the ladies and the children and go back home to watch football and relax, but they would make a swoop back to the basement door of Rich’s by the candy counter so that the ladies could pack all the treasures in the car without having to lug so many bags. By the time the men returned, the women had fulfilled their part of the day with us cousins. We’d been through the Secret Santa gift shop with our own personal elf to help us shop with the money and list our mothers had made, and we’d also seen the pink pig. We got to go home and play board games when the men came back. It was the dads’ turn to be on kid duty. The women? They kept shopping – without kids in tow.
I’m pretty sure that’s where I developed my lingering distaste for shopping. I don’t like traffic, I abhor frenzied crowds, and I don’t like the “thrill” of the hunt. As an adult, I never have been one to have much more than what I need (except in food and shoes), so the excess of clearance and sale items in the name of saving money never made much sense to me about things we hadn’t needed in the first place. Were we really saving money if the need wasn’t there?
These experiences had a place, though, in shaping the shopper I am today. These days, I ask family members for the digital equivalent of the Sears Christmas Catalog Wish Book in the form of links. My daughter in law is amazing about it, too. She has the lists ready, one per grandchild, and it allows me to shop Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales as we purchase gifts for our grandchildren. We use this principle: Something you want, Something you need, Something to Wear, and Something to read. That’s how we buy for each grandchild (number 7 will be here 2 days after Christmas, if not before).
It’s what we call simple abundance: having the things we need, but leaving plenty enough wishing room.
On a scale of 1-10, I’d rate celebration of abundance by way of Christmas shopping and gifting as a 5 in importance. The ratings of each section will be used to create my Christmas constellation on Friday.
and so it begins:
vestibular therapy
hold on for the ride…….
I began vestibular therapy for vertigo last week after a five year ride of progressing intensity and frequency, and the older I get, the more I realize I’m my mother’s daughter. Mom suffered migraines most of her life – the kind where she had to go to her room, draw the blinds, put on an eye mask and take to the bed for the day in complete stillness. We had to be completely silent and not move around the house where she could hear our steps or our talking or breathing. .
My father, still living, has had bouts of vertigo from time to time throughout his life, his episodes bringing dizziness and nausea. He does not have headaches with his.
So I come to this psychedelic DNA altar honestly.
I answered all the hundreds of questions to help them fine-tune my triggers.
Yes, I’ve done some of the exercises I watched on YouTube. I have tried the Epley maneuver and it only makes me sicker and does not stop the movement. I use an Iso Cool pillow, have used one since 2008 and replaced it several times and they don’t make them like they used to – and yes, I’ve tried every kind of pillow out there. I sleep on a memory foam mattress, the kind that arrives in a box you have to cut open and watch rise like dough for 48 hours. I have four inches of memory foam toppers on top of that. I fight three dogs and a husband for space in that bed most nights. Bags…. let’s see, I carry a leather tote bag always on my left shoulder, rarely my right. That’s for work. I usually wear either a leather backpack or a canvas one with RTID if I’m going out for the day on a personal excursion, but only the tote bag is overloaded. No regular traditional purse for me. I do not eat a gluten-free diet (yet, anyway, but it sounds like I might be Googling that up when I get home). I prefer cloudy days to sunny ones – always have – the darker and stormier the better, probably because I don’t feel guilty reading on those days. I prefer cooler temperatures to warmer ones but I like to wrap up and find warmth in the cold. I sleep on my sides, my stomach, my back – wherever I can find sleep. I don’t have sleep apnea or snore unless I have a nasal cold. I take Melatonin to help me relax, and it helps me get to sleep but not stay asleep. Heck yes, my work life is stressful, and I use a computer a lot, especially during data windows where I’m disaggregating data in spreadsheets for days on end. I do have blue light glasses just for that. Yes, I work directly under a fluorescent light in a cubicle. No, I have not adjusted my computer light to low with the yellow glow, but I’ll add that to the list of to-dos. I do carry stress in my neck and feel eye fatigue. Yes, my home life is pretty quiet. Just my husband and me, our three spoiled brat schnoodles, and a lot of writing and reading with early dinners just like all the rest of the old folks we know – it is a place of peace, not triggering any headaches. And yes, I get at least 8 hours of sleep at night.
Yes, I get nausea. The kind I wish I could throw up and get it over with, but it takes hold and won’t turn loose.
Yes, I get a headache with my vertigo, but I must distinguish between the pressure headache and the painful headache. My vertigo headache is not the one with localized throbbing pain. My vertigo headache is a pressure headache – weird and uncomfortable, but distinctly different from the headache that comes at 3:00 like clockwork for some, on the heels of a day that was over the top. Describe the pressure headache? Sure. Please excuse my TMI here, but it’s like my brain has gas and gets bloated and there’s no valve. My right eye goes wonky like it pulls down a little like maybe that’s where a tight balloon is tied off and yet there’s no valve to release any of the pressure because I can’t let it out through my ear.
Describe a day of vertigo and what that’s like? That’s a post for tomorrow.
I’ll share my journey so far across 3 days this week, because I’ve learned more in two hours than in all the past 5 years put together.
The drive took 8 1/2 hours with only one stop to fill up the gas tank and to get an iced mocha and a Rice Krispy treat as a snackish meal to avoid making a time consuming stop. When I blew through Nashville without any significant delays, this should have been the signal flag that I was in traffic trouble in Chattanooga and Atlanta.
Standstill traffic in each of those two cities set me back by two hours – about an hour each with stop and go brake lights and watching the rear view mirror in case I needed to brace myself for a texting driver not paying attention. I finished my audiobook and talked to family on the phone, catching up from the few days I was away.
A return to my own bed and flatter memory foam pillows was bittersweet. I miss my daughter and her fiancé already, but I rest in the comfort that they are continually building their new life together a few states away, while mine is here. There is great blessing in the peace of knowing that she is deeply happy and that so many prayers have been answered.
they moved in today
opened new doors to new life
forever as one
I made the trip Friday night from Georgia to Tennessee, and on Saturday morning from Tennessee to Kentucky. Although it’s a long and tiring trip, especially driving it alone and at night, it has been worth every second for all the joy and excitement! I’m here in Western Kentucky, just a few minutes from Indiana, to celebrate the forthcoming arrival of my new grandson, Silas Haynes Neal. He’s something of a triple miracle ~ his parents overcame their own personal struggles, and then their best choices led them to each other. They found love. They found blessing. They drew two families together to love this little bud on our family tree who will surely have us all wrapped up in his sweetness and charm before long.
Their first dates were picnics and hikes here in Yellow Creek Park, so this is where they chose to be showered with blessing again. I noticed children swinging, playing on the playground, laughing and stealing with delight as I drove into the entrance of this park. What a fitting place – a place holding the history of their own romance and the future of their son’s play. An outdoorsy place that stamps the love of nature and outdoors right into the imprint of his name’s meaning – Silas Haynes Neal (woodland) – and the theme of the nursery – – woodland friends. A place where the grandmothers embraced wearing jeans and woodland colors, keeping the festivities relaxed and simple, focused on others like two Marys in a Martha world. The very things we hope for our grandson.
But we did do a Martha thing or two. The first gift was a knife and cake server set, engraved with his name, to be used from the baby shower to the birthday cakes to the wedding cake and any other cakes throughout his life. There will always be a memory of the grandmothers at celebrations – – grandmothers who, from before his first breath, prayed and hoped for his happy future with much to celebrate, even when we are no longer here to cut the cake.
gift from his grandmas~
a personalized cake knife
engraved with his name
for celebrations
through all of his lifelong years
to know he belongs
a child loved, wanted
here on the family tree
woven into the
personalities,
yarns of who we are, taking
our bloodlines as his
And I hope, truly hope, that his fun side shines through – – that someday, just like his father, he takes the silver elastic band from a gift and puts it on his head and smiles on – because that’s where the joy is found, in being a little silly and not too rigid and serious.
I’ve extended my stay to be able to enjoy more outdoor experiences and beauty of nature with these two today. We’ll visit the Western Kentucky Botanical Gardens and stroll through the pleasant breezes forecast for the day. The leaves are just beginning to change, and the feel of fall is crisp in the air. It’s a perfect day for all the best that life has to offer!
snap lots of pictures
celebrate the baby bump
slice the woodland cake
today my baby
will be showered with love for
her own little boy!
tomorrow I will
share the excitement we had
in Yellow Creek Park
growing strong to meet
his loving family who
can’t wait to hold him!
I made the trip late Friday night, leaving work at 4 p.m. and planning to drive to Chattanooga before stopping to sleep. Even though there have been two major hurricanes in the Southeast in the past week or so, I hadn’t predicted the fully booked impact on hotels. There was no room in the inns for me. Not in Chattanooga, not in Manchester, not in the second exit after Manchester. It wasn’t until Murfreesboro that I found the proverbial “one last room,” and I eagerly and exhaustedly took it, continuing the rest of the trip yesterday morning after a restful sleep.
My worst fears flashed when I got to Owensboro to check in for a few days here, only to be told at the first hotel that they were booked. Thankfully, I found a room on the second attempt at a nearby hotel and checked in after a full day of scouting for fruit and vegetable trays, baby game prize gifts, and the perfect woodland-colored jumper and sweater set to show off the little one growing in my daughter’s cute belly.
This baby is a healing miracle for her and for her love. They found each other, despite all odds of their challenging journeys, and two families come together today to help them prepare to become not only a couple, but also a family.
The grandmothers got together to give our Silas a cake knife and slice server engraved with his name: Silas Haynes Neal. This set will be used at his baby shower and at his birthday parties in years to come, with the hopes that he will also use it as he cuts the groom’s cake at his own wedding someday – and we hope that if we are no longer here to be physically present, then there will at least be some small part of us present in spirit on that day as he celebrates.
For today, we are here and we are anticipating his arrival at the end of 2024. We couldn’t be happier!
Anna Roseboro of Michigan is our host today for our fifth and final day of the August Open Write. Anna encourages us to walk through poetry from #VerseLove 2024 and apply the TIME acronym to the elements of a poem and construct a verse about one of our choice. You can read her full prompt here. I chose Stacey Joy’s Our Old Kitchen Table to think about these elements in her poem and to write about each.
Time
Imagery
Music
Emotion
Tabletime Tempos
Through all these tender table times
In games, gatherings, cartoons, showers,
Meals, drumrolls of dice and laughter and tears against
the backdrop of time ticking
Emanating life tempos tintinnabulated and tolled, thus told
around the old kitchen table
my favorite cake
Publix buttercream-frosted
sliced birthday breakfast!
Today is my birthday, and already it has started better than I’d expected! I awoke to a birthday song recording from a member of my writing group and birthday cake on the counter. I’ve spent quiet time writing and watching birds, and the dogs are snuggled, fast asleep, next to me. The best part? I have no looming deadlines or plans today. I can write, I can read, I can drink coffee and eat cake and enjoy the day off here way back in the woods at home.
What’s better than that for a birthday?
Perhaps this is the best day of all to say thank you to YOU if you are reading this blog post. I experience life more richly when I can write about it and share the stories with those who read about it. Thank you, friends, for all the joys of another journey around the sun!
Our host today at http://www.ethialela.com for Day 10 of #VerseLove2024 is Joanne Emery, who inspires us to borrow ideas and lines from another poem to inspire our own. You can read her full prompt here, along with the poems and comments of others.
She explains her process: Find a line in the poem that stands out to you, expresses something about yourself. Then continue the poem while reflecting how you live your life.Â
We used Jane Hirschfield’s poem My Life Was the Size of My Life, and I borrowed this line from hers:
and closed its hands, its windows
I also chose one from Joanne’s poem Larger than My Life
with perfect white teeth, smiling
Keystones
our house with keystones
with perfect white teeth, smiling
to raise our children
you pulled all its teeth
and closed its hands, its windows
we bloomed in the dark
Common Threads 