Cutting Ties: On Not Missing A Narcissist

I had lunch with a couple of friends this week who are looking more forward to the holidays this year than ever before. They’ve cut out a toxic personality from their lives, and they say life has never been better. I celebrate them and share, with permission and in poetic form, their sentiments from our conversation. Sometimes holidays require us to consider our own mental health, and this year is that year for them. They’ve cut all ties and have moved on with their lives in healthier ways. I couldn’t be happier for them.

They say they don’t miss a dozen iterations of a

salad not even on the menu or

the barely audible low talk with fake

victim eyes, polished nails tapping a

coffee mug

they don’t miss

making plans they never wanted in the

first place or the never-ending reach for

attention or the Bible whippings from

a pious mouth-hole

or her.

They don’t miss

her.

They don’t miss all the presumptions or her

sickening fundie baby voice or the conclusive

expressions of the Dunning-Kruger con artist

or the mission that something needs to be

fixed and she’s the sole savior to do it.

No one misses her.

No one wants to fix her broken world.

They mostly see her as a mosaic of

toxic personalities, there

in a heap of jagged

edges just waiting to cut her next victim

this narcissistic it’s-all-about-me princess of her

own flying monkey fantasy kingdom

who is always, always the victim.

#VerseLove April 16 – with Susan Ahlbrand

Susan Ahlbrand is our host today for Day 16 of #VerseLove. She inspires us to write poems about friendships that didn’t work out for whatever reason, whether there was a move or a disagreement or a divorce or another form of distancing. You can read her full prompt here. I wrote about a time I left a church because the views became too radical to accept.

Blind Ewe

so you’re holier.
new pastor said NO WOMEN
his blind sheep believed

not one stood with me
not one challenged his iron fist
not one saw the wolf

wife who rarely spoke
children white as untanned lambs
always in the house

I took a firm stand
when I saw the truth. I left
that mutton pasture

one by one others 
did too, down to a dozen
“disciples” who stayed

brainwashed radicals
worshipping legalism
no grace, mercy, love

so you’re holier?
is that what you call yourself?
guess again, girlfriend.

Ewe blind