Tag: giving

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A Calm Christmas: Heart and Hearth

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 5, she considers reflecting on where the heart is and what the heart needs in celebrating. She encourages us to contemplate the gatherings with a mindful spirit for how we spend time and what we do with others to celebrate. She reminds us in Chapter 5 that “time-honored traditions are only worth maintaining if they honor your time and bring you pleasure.”

This may be my favorite chapter yet. Kempton opens with a reflection of a Christmas Day moment from her teenage years, providing a snapshot frozen in time to show her grandmother, her parents, her siblings, and herself gathered in the midst of Christmas dinner. She illustrates it so well, it’s reminiscent of a Hallmark ad or a Publix commercial. And then comes the sobering reminder: things will not always be this way.

She redefines what a calm Christmas means: A calm Christmas does not have to be a small Christmas or even a quiet Christmas. Rather, it is one where you remove your own stressors, let go of perfection, and focus on what really matters to you. She then takes us through a process of re-imagining how we gather, how we gift, and how we gambol.

Each year, my father has traditionally given me a box of books. He’s a book collector, so he thinks mindfully about what I will love. He knows my unique and quirky reading personality and what will be meaningful for me. Among my treasures throughout the years are a first edition copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, signed by Harper Lee herself; a very old copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck; and an assortment of Gladys Tabor books, including Stillmeadow Sampler, Stillmeadow Calendar, and Stillmeadow and Sugarbridge, three of my absolute favorites. Oh, the joy they bring to me as I sit and read and re-read and re-read again. These gifts are mindful, meaningful, and they matter – the hallmarks of great gifting.

Most of my writing circle of friends know that my father is undergoing chemotherapy for colorectal cancer. It leaves him fatigued and weak, so we have decided to postpone our gatherings this year to allow him to rest and to minimize his exposure to large numbers of people who bring risk of germs to him in his state of weakened immunity. We won’t gather until later in January, and the gathering will be simple when it happens – a few hours, a meal, and a time of reflection and togetherness.

Meanwhile, to keep Dad’s spirit of Christmas book gifting alive and well, my brother and I found the perfect gift for him. It’s a Simplay 3 Little Free Library that he can put on the corner of his yard at the intersection on the south end of St. Simons Island, Georgia. Even though he may not be able to share books with me on Christmas as he has done in the past, he can certainly find the joy in sharing books with others this Christmas season and feel the warmth of spirit as he watches folks consider the collection of books he curates to go inside. He has always had a mountain of books to pass along, and while some are collectible, others are modern bestsellers.

Book gifting is a tradition that matters, and my brother and I know all too well the joy our dad finds in sharing his deep love of reading. Books make a difference in how we see the world, and Dad is a perfect reader/book matchmaker. We have been matched! We can’t wait to see the next great matches he makes!

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A Calm Christmas: Celebrations During Christmas

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This December, I’m slowly making my way through Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year by Beth Kempton (2020), and in Chapter 4 which begins Part 2, she presents ways to consider mindful giving as we celebrate during Christmas.

Kempson says, “Mindful giving comes down to three questions: whether to give, what to give, and how to give.” She goes on to explain that sometimes, the best gift of all is the gift of nothing (there is a child’s picture book title by that name) – that the social contract of giving is often felt most strongly this time of year when the release is there to simply forego gifting. In fact, she provides a statistic that 60 million gifts in 2018 in the UK were unwanted, according to one study, and that another survey found that six out of every ten gifts given to a sample of 2,000 adults were unwanted. Before giving, she offers 3 questions to guide the gifting: is it mindful, is it meaningful, and is it memorable?

Our office holds a gift exchange, and while it’s fun, I’d lay a wager that the numbered gifts fall into the statistics above. For this occasion, I look at the dollar value and either go with wrapped cash or a gift card from a certain huge retailer named after a river in South America. Everyone participating seems to like this option so they can either use it to further their own Christmas shopping or personalize a gift for themselves – from someone who doesn’t know any of them well enough to give a one-size-appeals-to-all gift in this eclectic mix of personalities that would satisfy whomever ends up with it. And it works like a charm.

For the smaller department sector, I set out to answer the age-old question about the best gift for all ages. Everyone loves it. Everyone needs it. Everyone uses it. No one expects it.

And I came up with the answer to this universal question by looking deep into my own soul and asking: what does everyone need that everyone probably already has but could use more of, where size, age, gender, religious affiliation, and political persuasion does not matter? And a clear answer rose to the top.

Chapstick.

I ordered three dozen tubes of Candy Cane Chapstick, along with a supply of clip holder sleeves I’d seen on a travel blog recently. The sleeves have a clip that allows users to attach the tube to a lanyard or a purse loop or backpack strap so that the tubes don’t end up in pockets, either lost through holes, melting with body temperature – or worse, going through the washer and dryer and staining clothes with petroleum spots like I’ve done so many times.

I grabbed a tabletop tree from Hobby Lobby and festooned the tree with the best guard against bitter winter wind that exists – this universal tiny tube of lip bliss. And here is what I discovered: you can’t go wrong with a candy cane Chapstick tree. It’s mindful, meaningful, and (hopefully) memorable – at least for a season.

Even with all of the thanks and appreciative conversations with people asking for the links to be able to re-create the idea at their family gatherings this year, the thrill of giving something you know people both need and want far outweighs the joy of receiving. It’s the greatest feeling in the world!

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POG Coins

In my school district, our system gives out silver Portrait of a Graduate (POG) Coins whenever a student demonstrates competencies in various aspects of citizenship and humanity.

Two months ago, six of our humanities students in our ninth grade academy took part in a state-wide presentation through Georgia Tech to share their work learning about poverty and the local projects they took on to address poverty in our community.

This will be our third year working with Elia Moreno of Texas as we move from Aha! to Action! to Advocacy! The first year, we Zoomed with her because of Covid constraints and travel hiccups. The second year, we brought her to our county (I had Covid on the day she came to visit), and this year she is returning in person- today – to stand with the students on our auditorium’s stage and continue the good work that she has helped shape in our rural Georgia county.

Students will enter a time of reviewing their work and then begin the next phase by entering a think tank to create ways to meet the needs of our community. Each year, they bring proposals to local elected officials for feedback on their ideas and suggestions on ways to make good things happen. We are building a community garden and providing food through a backpack program for children and families.

We’re blessed to be part of a community that steps up to help meet needs of others.