It’s 3:38 a.m. and since 1:21,
a crooner has been singing
on repeat in my ear right through the pillow
It’s the Holiday Season
So hoop-de-do
And hickory dock
and just exactly at 12 o’clock
He’ll be coming down the chimney
coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney down
And I need this to stop!!!
Because I need to worry
About the ceiling
And the little piece of plaster that fell
That Briar tried to replace with
Glue and tape and a broomstick
On top of a tall ladder but it
Plunged to the floor and broke
Now we need a spackling job
But there might be moisture
And we might need a repair
Or black mold might start growing
And take over the whole house
And we would get sick and die
And I need to worry about what might have happened
if he’d fallen off that ladder at his age
And all the whatifs that go with a thing like that
Like if we want to change where we will be buried because I do NOT want to be buried on the current plan anymore and I asked for my own cemetery way back a year ago in July and it still hasn’t happened and so maybe I’ll get a Christmas cemetery,
I sure hope so,
down by the road under the only hardwoods on this farm, with little iron fence that stays empty until we are all too old to move or talk or breathe anymore, but a cemetery that’s ready at any moment just for the peace of mind
I might be the only woman on the face of this planet who would cry tears of unwept joy opening the gift of a personal cemetery, but I’m dead serious
I heard a thud and am relieved
It’s a pillow I kicked off the bed and not a dog
Especially the one who already
Broke a leg before we rescued him
Now he just snuggled closer to me
Those little feet
Always find the boobs always
Always always and ouch
Ouch
He burrows to my feet finally
Thank Goodness
I have the presents but I still need to
Wrap some and remember to get part 2 of the work gift exchange
And make Little Debbie Christmas tree cake dip – and replace the regular sprinkles with Christmas sprinkles
And after 2 pairs of Levi’s and a pair of Timberland Boots that I have gotten him again just like for the past at least 8 Christmases
He says on December 11 before bed
He wants a sound machine because these new fans are too quiet
They don’t make them like they used to
And I need to gather pine cones for the night tree.
Crisco and birdseeds I already have, and that twine is somewhere maybe even in the toolbox
and I need another newspaper since I used extra newsprint on gift wrapping but now we will for sure need it for the mess after reading the book and honoring the critter tree tradition
And these grandkids will do this. It’s what their father and aunts and I have done since he was little in preK and got the book as a gift from his teacher and it is what I was doing by the driveway when he called to tell me he was planning on popping the question to their mother
this tree we have always done together
But no gingerbread houses, no!! Lord, no! There aren’t enough sprinkles and nerves in this world for that, that’s why I bought them the Lego set last year. They can put that together as their gingerbread house.
We will make cookies. Break and bake sugar cookies with a can of store-bought icing with a tablespoon of Crisco and some cornstarch mixed in with the beaters so the icing will harden and maybe we use the regular sprinkles for that since my granddaughter likes pink, the one who can say she likes pink
I think we can do that and sweep up all the sprinkles
And I have to be up in an hour getting ready now that it is 4:00 because the conference is an hour away and registration starts at 7:00 so I need to leave here by 6;00 meaning feet on the floor at 5:00
and help!!! What to wear???
I haven’t even worried about that yet so maybe the gray pants and a black shirt and sweater but my feet will freeze if I can’t wear my regular black boots and they don’t go with those pants and I just don’t want to wear a dress since I have to wear my magnetic work name tag and it looks like it’s lost on a dress so maybe
….could I get away with jeans? Wouldn’t that just be great to show up in the ripped knee pair? Surely they would take that one picture if I did, the one defining conference picture to go on social media to show all of us working, thinking critically, collaborating, communicating, creating
All the professionals in their pressed slacks and boutique blouses and nametags and me in my ripped jeans and boots and camo shirt and it’s too bad it’s so cold or I could pull out my camo Birkenstocks for that picture and if I were really bold just wear them in the winter with socks to hear Joan Sedita talk about The Writing Rope
the one supposed to be a random candid where I’m the only one looking straight at the camera like I’m all defiant in my fashion all because I couldn’t sleep and it’s the holiday season
And hoop-de-do
And hickory dock
And just exactly at 12 o’clock
He’ll be coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney down
Happy holidays
Happy holidays
While the merry bells keep ringing
Happy holidays
to you
It’s the holiday season
And Santa Claus is coming round
The winter snow is white on the ground
And when old Santa gets into town
He’ll be coming down the chimney down
He’ll be coming down the chimney down
It’s the holiday season
And Santa Claus has got a toy
For every good girl and good little boy
He’s got a great big bundle o’ joy
He’ll be coming down the chimney down
He’ll be coming down the chimney down
He’s got a big fat pack upon his back
And lots of goodies for you and for me
So leave a peppermint stick for old St. Nick
Hanging on the Christmas tree
It’s the holiday season
So hoop-de-do and hickory dock
And don’t forget to hang up your sock
‘Cause just exactly at 12 o’clock
He’ll be coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney
Coming down the chimney down
Happy holidays
Happy holidays
While the merry bells keep ringing
Happy holidays to you