Patchwork Prose and Verse
This month, I’m writing posts from prompts in the Writing Down the Bones Card Deck by Natalie Goldberg, shared with me by my friend Barb Edler of Iowa. Today’s prompt card inspires us to write about arriving someplace late – a dinner, a job interview, a funeral, an appointment. I remember my father saying that my first marriage should have ended long before it did, and these words prompted my haiku poem today.
I arrived 19
years late to my own divorce
by the grace of God
This month, I’m writing posts from prompts in the Writing Down the Bones Card Deck by Natalie Goldberg, shared with me by my friend Barb Edler of Iowa. Today’s prompt asks this question: What will you have to say goodbye to when you die?
Breaking the Glass
one day on
Michael & Kelly,
Strahan said
if you stay ready
you don’t have to get ready
and I think it applies to
Heaven too
so after losing Dad
who could never say
goodbye to seven storage rooms
and a house full of stuff
I started pitching things
so I won’t have much to leave~
maybe I’ll break the last wine
glass right before heading
into the light….
or maybe I won’t
This month, I’m working on finding the blessings after a month of sharing Dad’s journey through his final days. On the other side of grief, if there is a proverbial corner we turn, with joy that comes in the morning – – just like the Bible promises. One of the things that helps me find the joy is writing about the little miracles I see happening and the little smiles that come out of nowhere like urgings to notice a particular thing and think about what it means in the grand scheme of it all. I’m using Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones cards between now and the end of the year to try to write through all 60 of them, introduced to me by my friend Barb Edler of Iowa.
Today’s card, #2, piggybacks to yesterday’s card about What I’m Thinking Of……and flips the script to what I’m not thinking of.
Here goes…..
I’m not thinking of all the threats
out there when I see a wren on a wreath
against the swirl of window glass
that leads to the world
~ no, I’m not thinking of
the bigger picture
in such a tiny circle of light
through the translucent barrier
we call safety and shelter
in the comfort of our walls
when tiny birds are fighting
for all they’re worth
every day just to survive
still lifting their eyes
to the heavens and
singing joyful praise
in the midst of it all
In Dad’s final days, he shared stories, words of wisdom, and prayers with us that we will carry with us for the rest of our days. I’ve devoted the month of July specifically to sharing so many of these. There’ll be plenty more in the coming months, but not as a daily energy the way that July has been. I’ve needed this sustained time and focus for the grieving process to occur, and it has served its purpose in moving me through some emotions that needed exercise.
Sometime in August, I’ll attempt to find the strength of emotion to share the story of Dad’s dog, Kona, and her visit to the funeral home to visit Dad one last time – – so that she could understand the truth of what happened.
For now, I’m sharing the audio clip urging Dad to release and take the journey to his final destination. I’m also sharing the link to his obituary and slide show of photos. He was buried in his Georgia Bulldog cap that his friend Nick Doster gave him the night before he died, his doctoral robe, the Denny’s Save the Children necktie made by my son from my youngest daughter’s feet that won the national art contest, and a shirt belonging to Ken’s wife’s son.
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/brunswick-ga/the-reverend-dr-haynes-12415041
Perhaps the greatest comfort we find is that Dad died with his arms stretched Heavenward, reaching for all those who love him, who have been waiting on the other side. We know they were there, reaching down to guide him and to greet him, after all his years of standing in the pulpit sharing with others the gospel and the promise of eternal life we know in salvation.
What a moment. What a life. What a promise!
In Dad’s final days, he was full of metaphors about life experiences and advice. Here, he shares what to do when we fumble the ball, after referencing the iconic high school yearbook photograph of him in the end zone, midair, arms up, eyes focused, reaching for the football.
The Plays You Fumble
you can’t catch every
pass but it doesn’t matter
the next play matters
when you drop one, you
get another chance
In Dad’s final days, he tells us stories. In this moment, he admits that he doesn’t have enough left. He realizes the end is very close. We assure him that we are not disappointed in him, that we are proud of him, and that we love him. While these are painful moments to relive, they help tremendously in the process of grief. I’m so grateful to have our voices of togetherness recorded so that they will always remain close and just a click away when I need them most.
Not Enough Left Nonet
no one was disappointed in Dad
when he didn’t have enough left
he’d been fighting a long time
and had lost too much strength
to go on living
we assured him
we loved him
and were
proud
In Dad’s final days, we gathered audio clips to preserve his stories, prayers, and words of wisdom. In today’s clip, he shares about one of his favorite topics – The Springs of Elim – and how they worked in his own life.
fresh Springs of Elim
waters of restoration
reviving the soul
In Dad’s final days, he shared stories with us. I recorded them, and my brother and I are celebrating these memories and stories throughout the month of July. In today’s audio clip, Dad shares an acrostic he has written in the middle of the night using an acrostic from the Bible verse Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men……” using the word SHINE. Here is Dad’s middle-of-the-night acrostic poem:
Dad’s SHINE Acrostic
Set goals
Hang tough
Invest wisely (it’s not money….it’s time)
Nurture others
Empathize
He says the Jim Valvano speech is the best ever, and that we should all listen to it, so I’m linking it here: https://youtu.be/HuoVM9nm42E. Today, in memory of Felix Haynes and Jimmy Valvano, let’s all go out and laugh and think….and cry.
In Dad’s final days, he reminded us to keep on growing.
Room Service
birds
have to eat
their body weight
each day
but plants
have to have
room service
This month, I’m sharing some of Dad’s conversations in his final days, and in one of them that you can hear at the bottom of this post, he revealed a surprising thought about how we feel about folks from time to time. His revelation reminded me of a poem that I wrote recently for a small group of women in one of my writing circles.
My Stafford Challenge group meets the first Monday of each month by Zoom to chat and write together, and we’re a group of women who enjoy reading as much as writing. I’ve been writing a form each month called Gift Basket writing, where I choose three things I’d give a person in a gift basket for that month. This one is dedicated especially to my Stafford Writing Group sisters – Barb Edler of Iowa, Glenda Funk of Idaho, and Denise Krebs of California. At the time I wrote this, I’d recently stumbled across a book club I’d love to join, even for the name alone, and there is actually a summer camp in Maine for its readers – this is a real thing. My dream summer is going to this book club’s summer camp, and I’ve added it to the bucket list.
Bad Bitch Book Club
if I were giving you
a gift basket
I’d make it a
Bad Bitch gift basket
to welcome the storms
of the world~
you’d receive
a t-shirt that says
BAD BITCH BOOK CLUB
complete with
a membership to
the Bad Bitch Book Club
(yes ~ it’s a real thing
with its own dot com)
and a mirror
so you’ll always
see the
baddest of the kick-ass bad
right in the palm of your hand~
knowing your Bad Bitch sisters
have your back!
It’s okay to have a BB attitude sometimes……even my preacher Dad in his final days confessed that there are times we are all a little bit badass. You can listen here:
Common Threads 